A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi guys this is me and i need serious help. am tryn to date a very hot gal who is slightly younger than iam but am afraid she may freak out when she discovers my addiction to porn. Should i come clean or keep this addiction as top secret?
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male
reader, fwddgs  +, writes (19 March 2009):
3rd date. The 3rd date is the one where the dangerous secrets come out and you see whether the other party can keep going with you despite that or not.
Tell her that there's something you need to say, but that you were too scared in case it drove her away and that you are willing to seek help but only if she sticks with you, otherwise you won't have the drive to keep going.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): My husband told me he had 'some' adult videos before we got serious, and that was okay with me. These movies never made an appearance in our relationship until after we were married a few months, and I have to say, at first I didn't mind.... we had an having an amazing sex life... until it came to a point that they were constantly on the scene. I subsequently realized that my husband was not only an 'occasional' watcher - he had hundreds of videos and DVDs and was spending hundreds upon hundreds of dollars buying more - he was an addict!!! Of course, he denies this, and in his mind, I am just being a bitch trying to control what he does!This is actually a very disturbing thing for any woman/wife/girlfriend to deal with. We have had numerous fights over it and now our sex life is non-existent and it has been for a couple of years now. Soon, I will probably leave him because I need to be in a relationship where I am wanted physically. In the long run.... pornography turns men off real sex. They will never be satisfied with the real deal after a long time of watching the fantasy.In short - don't even think about getting into a serious relationship until you sort this out. You are actually on the right road already, by admitting you have an addiction, and I wish you the very best of luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): You can keep it a secret if you intend to get out of this porn addiction. Make sure you actually try to get out of it. On the other hand, don't keep it a secret if you intend to date this girl on the pretense of continuing to use porn. However, you can test your love interest whether she adhere to the usage of porn or not, in a general statement. If she says she has no problems with it, you can tell her about your problem OR you don't have to tell her your problem but tell her you use porn. If she doesn't adhere to it, then you know you will have to choose between her or the porn.
Ultimately though, you should know that stuff like this is a big enough issue to not keep it a secret from your love interest. It's decaying factor for trust.
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