A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I need some general help here, I am really into this guy, who says he's into me but nothing too heavy, I didn't want a FWB but it's what we have, all we have done is kissed and some oral, he now wants sex but I have told him I am not ready yet and he seems fine with that, but I haven't been totally honest because the truth is I'm scared to because I haven't ever had sex with anyone and I am just getting used to everything else. I always thought I would find someone and it would be a proper relationship etc but I have realised that's not going to happen as I am 27 and he is the only guy ever that I have felt attracted to and wanted to sleep with and he wants me. Should I just be honest and say I want to but I am inexperienced.Would a guy (especially if he is just after sex and a bit of fun) be happy with the truth? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 November 2009):
 If you just want sex with the guy then go ahead. If you think having sex with the guy will keep him interested and start a proper relationship then you are wrong and will be disappointed. I think you need to decipher between lust and love here. He has been honest with you it seems - FWB, no commitment? It doesn't matter that you are in your mid-20's and sexually inexperienced...that is lovely and refreshing in a world of depravity. I was late to the whole losing virginity thing myself and I didn't meet that many men I fancied until I was in my 30's. I personally regret succumbing to peer-pressure in my mid-20's to get the deed over and done with, I felt awful afterwards and really wish I had waited.I personally think you should hold on until you meet Mr Right. The fact that you are anxious at letting this guy know about your lack of sexual experience suggests that it is just not the right time/ man to take matters further. You should take comfort in the fact that you have found someone you fancy. Take away the knowledge that such a man exists and find his twin who is rather more into commitment-type relationships.
A
female
reader, theoneyoucancounton... +, writes (20 November 2009):
 Ok worries, heres the thing...
you sound like too much of a nice person to lose something so precious as your virginity to someone guy who's guna treat you like a notch on his bedpost.
You may be 27 but you dont want to waste time with someone that isnt going to treat you right afterewards.
I know it sounds cliche but there really is someone out there for everyone...
Tell this guy the truth but also make sure that if you are prepared to lose your virginity to him that you consider the after affects such as not being with him if you think he just wants fun.
Tell him how you feel, has he deffiantely said he wants sex and nothing more?
Be honest with yourself and your feelings, Follow your heart, it wont lead you wrong.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (20 November 2009):
 The truth is always best, and 27 is very young. Yes, the guy would be thrilled.
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