A
female
age
26-29,
*eldaGirl64
writes:Alrighty so, I have been in a relationship for quite some time with a great guy. I absolutely love him to bits. He's always remained faithful and he's such a great boyfriend. Only a select few know about our relationship.Ok so I live two houses down from my boyfriend. (I live in a big neighborhood and all us teens are very close) and across the street from me is a family with a man who's been divorced and remarried with another woman who he now lives with and who he has had two beautiful children with. From his first marriage, he has 3 kids. They come and visit him on weekends, one of them is my age. Lets just say his name is "jake". When I first moved here, he and I had great chemistry. We used to sneak out and make out behind a little tree :3 but that was before I had my boyfriend.The other day, all of us teens in the neighborhood were hanging out in my boyfriend and his sister's backyard and "Jake" was getting all flirty and such. I mean VERY flirty. (he doesn't know that my boyfriend and I are dating, but "Jake" and my boyfriend are bestfriends). I secretly liked him being flirty :3 like... A lot. Then as I was walking home, after my boyfriend left, "Jake" said "uhmm I think I need to see you in your backyard for a sec..." I knew that this meant that he wanted to make out. I made up and excuse and went inside leaving him with "maybe tomorrow (; " well, tomorrow is now today and I don't know what I should do if he offers again. It's very tempting. The funny thing is that he has a girlfriend too.What should I do? My boyfriend is great but things are getting kind of bland. Would it be so wrong just to experiment to see what I'm truly happy with? Or would it make me a terrible person? D: please help, this is eating me alive!!
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female
reader, ZeldaGirl64 +, writes (23 April 2011):
ZeldaGirl64 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are right. I don't know what I was thinking!! Lol "Jake" isn't what I thought he was anyways :(
A
female
reader, The Girl with the Diver's Hair  +, writes (21 February 2011):
DONT CHEAT ON HIM!!!!
Imagine if it was the other way around and your boyfriend was gonna cheat on you. Surely he would not because he loves you. Ok the relationship is going a bit bland but all relationships does that from time to time and the worst possible thing you could do is go away and cheat on him. I mean would he do that to you? If he did how would that make you feel if you ever found out it was with one of your best mates?
Personally I would tell 'Jake' that your in a relationship with your boyfriend and that you cant. If that makes it awkward well, its a chance you have to take. But seriously dont cheat it's the worse possible thing to do.
Good Luck
E
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Yes it would make you a terrible person. It's called cheating, and it's not something you'd like to get called. It's also called worse things when a girl sleeps around or cheats.. I wont repeat those names on here. But they are said for a reason: it's a bad thing to do, and socially unacceptable. You risk not being able to get a boyfriend again if you get a reputation for cheating and not being faithful.
And no, you do not love your boyfriend to bits. Im thinking this is just an expression, because if you actually did love someone you wouldn't even consider hurting them this much. Remember that while you get a little "experience on the side" you are ripping out the heart of your boyfriend. The little joy you experience is not anything measured up against the massive pain you will inflict on your boyfriend.
Im not joking with you. It hurts to get cheated on, try to imagine how you would feel if someone you cared about, trusted, and even loved, cheated on you. Would it feel ok? No.
If you are not happy with your boyfriend, even though you claim to be, break it off with him.
Thinking about things, and doing them, are two different things. You're not a bad person for imagining kissing the other guy, or for thinking about it, as long as your conclusion is that it is wrong and you will not do it. But if you liked the flirting, and want to kiss this boy, you should break it off with your boyfriend. Just remember that once you break it off you can not have him back after this other guy leaves.
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A
female
reader, Gleek4Life +, writes (20 February 2011):
Cheating is always bad. If you feel your relationship is getting stale then talk to your boyfriend about it and see if you can get the spark back into it. If not then maybe you should call it quits. It's not fair to cheat on your boyfriend. And it's not fair to this "jakes" girlfriend. In actual fact, this "jake" fella doesn't seem very nice at all, and if he doesn't care that much about his girlfriend then he's probably not going to care that much about you.
But, why are you and your boyfriend keeping your relationship secret? Could this be why your feeling like it's a bit bland lately? Perhaps you should think about going public.
And I thought I'd just mention that if all you teens are close I would think very carefully about going behind your boyfriends back with his best mate especially. If you cheat and your boyfriend finds out he could tell other people and you may get a reputation and your town sounds quite small so be careful. Also, how do you know this "jake" won't blab?
The alternative is that maybe you don't want to be in a relationship and you just want to be free to do what you want to do. You're very young to be in a serious relationship, so maybe you should think about being single.
Hope this helps, and good luck with whatever you choose to do.
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A
female
reader, Party rings +, writes (20 February 2011):
It would be wrong to cheat on him when you still love him.
The other boy has a girlfriend and you have to remember her feelings to in this.Please dont destroy ur love for your boyfriend to be with ur other lover.
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A
male
reader, JoeDhon +, writes (20 February 2011):
you have a bf and he has a gf...
he knows that too
believe me if you keep going, you're labelled a "hoe"
...and bros before hoe, sweetie. he'll have sex with you... and dump you, or just cause drama.
wait till you're both single.
tell him that if you're serious.
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (20 February 2011):
 Don't cheat hunny you'll regret it forever. That's a can of worms you don't want to open. "just to experiment with who youre really happy with"? Are you kidding? This other guy isn't even single. He's not even an option for you as far as a relationship goes as long as he's with another girl.
If youre done with your boyfriend, dump him, don't mess around. And don't break up with your boyfriend for another guy. Do it for yourself. Make sure you're ok being single and without him, don't just do it to start another relationship, ESPECIALLY one that's not a sure deal.
And never settle for being the "other girl" either. AFTER you break up with your boyfriend, should you decide to, tell this other dude that he either breaks up with his girlfriend and comes to be with you, or he finds somebody else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): Yes, it would be wrong and you know it. If you loved your boyfriend you wouldn't be thinking about cheating on him. If things are "bland" then make an effort to spice it up. It takes two to make a relationship work and by the sound of it you don't sound mature enough to be in one yet.
Also, this other guy has a girlfriend, what about her? Have you considered anybody else's feelings apart from your own?
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