A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm 16. i'm a normal high school student, well i'm not that normal, i look kinda emo and goth, wear lots of eyeliner, i always wear black, and sometimes i could be annoying. ok so i like this guy for about a year now, he's really cool, and i like him a lot. well last year we almost went out and we liked each other, but then some how we didn't go out and just stayed friends. i still like him a lot, and i had my friend ask him how he felt about me and he said that he only likes me as a friend and that he still likes his ex-girlfriend. so now i don't know what to do. i was thinking of making myself more girly, but i don't know how to. part of me wants to move on but last year we hung out a couple of times and we got really close so i can't forget everything that happened between us. i tried to get over him but then part of me still thinks i have a chance. i really want him to like me again, i just don't know if it will happen again. please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2009): While I agree that you shouldn't change yourself for someone else, I want you to look at WHY you dress the way you do and WHY you want a change. If it's YOU who wants to be more girlie, then that is YOU being true to YOUR own wants. Go for it.
I went through this in high school. Call me a 'late bloomer' but I just wasn't that in to makeup & girl stuff. I was a sporty, no-makeup type. Then one day durng my sophomore year my "girl" genes kicked in and I WANTED to wear makeup and look cute. (Yeah, boys played in to it and I wanted to be noticed but mostly I just wasn't as happy with myself. My outside appearance didn't match my inside feelings any more and that needed to be resolved.) I made my own changes to make MYSELF happy. I didn't get the guy I had a crush on but I got a heck of a lot more attention and dated frequently. All because I ougrew an old version of myself and made a positive change on the outside that reflected changes going on the inside of me.
If this sounds like what you're experiencing, then go ahead and make the change for yourself! Just take my advice and make your changes over a few weeks. I showed up to school one day all made-up and the boys teased me about being a "clown" since I never wore makeup and I looked different in it. No fun. LOL!
A
female
reader, Blod  +, writes (12 October 2009):
 Move on. Move on. Move on.
As hard as it might be you have to be cruel to be kind. Do not change yourself for anyone but yourself. Be the person you want to be.
If you're meant to be then he'll come to you. You can't make anyone like you. So just try your best to move on.
So long as you're happy being yourself and not hung over some guy then honestly, you are as attractive as any other girl. And it's his loss, not yours.
Good Luck. X
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A
female
reader, anaphaseii +, writes (12 October 2009):
Never change yourself for anyone. Ever. If he doesn't fall for the person you are, it's not genuine. The farce catches up to you eventually.
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