A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:heyy everyone, just got a bit of a dilemna and just dont know what to do. My ex broke up with me 4months ago and has been trying to get me bk but ive refused, i just dnt want anything to do with him, hes really abusive and controlling and ive been having counselling to work through everything with him, im just glad im out of it. He never hit me but was very agggressive and to be honest if it werent for my mum he would have. It took me months to get rid of him. Anyways, theres this boy that my ex hangs out with at uni, ive never met him and bout a month ago he sent me a msg on face book, basically saying that hes really glad im away from my ex, that i can do much better and hes never said anything bad bout me if my ex has told me that. He added me to msn and we have been talking ever since. Its weird he firts with me then disappears for days then flirts again then he says he wants to be friends and that he feels bad coz of my ex and then still flirts. Therefore, i told him and he said he really wants to go out with me but cant until he finishes his last yr in uni which is in about 10months. He is still going to hang out with my ex at uni and i dont know if hes afraid of him because i know he doesnt like him.I really dont trust him, i find him strange, i just dont wanna get hurt again ad i cant work him out. I do really like him but im too aware of boys now and im on my guard esp coz hes still in contact with my ex. I just dont know if i should carry on talking to him or leave it, maybe i need a fresh start with people that has nuthing to do with my ex?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyer your right, dont think that hasnt gone through my head because it has, i spent days torturing myself thinking isit my ex pretending to be him but my ex is sooo jealous and possessive and the things we have talked about he wouldnt be able to hold himself back he would go nuts.
I dont trust him as far as i can throw him and im on my guard constantly, its hard for me to trust any other boys although someone to do with my ex. I think im going to back off and just get on with my own life, it seems i just cant get away from my ex and i became intrigued by his friend because i felt that he was on the only person that understood my ex and how i felt. He has made me feel better knowing that my ex is not only abusive to me even though i dont want anybody else being hurt by my ex.
Thanks for your advice just glad we are both out of abusive, controlling relationships and can be happy xxxxxx
A
female
reader, Jewlz +, writes (4 August 2009):
It sounds like you should back off from this guy. How do you know it isn't your ex just screwing with your head, since you haven't met this guy? It would be easy enough for your ex to sign up a new email and MSN and just try to pretend he is "a friend of your ex" just to see what you have to say about him. I'm not trying to make you paranoid, but I have had a controlling boyfriend in the past, and people who are manipulative really do things like this. You should be very careful not to let this psycho back into your life. If someone cared about you and wanted to date you and knew what this guy had put you through, they wouldn't even want to be his friend. Even if this guy is legit, why would you want to even associate with your ex's friends? I would move on and try to meet a nice guy who doesn't even know your ex. Best of luck!
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