A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend has been calling me a lot since I've been on vacation. He is currently married (to a drug user whom used drugs during her pregnancy with his son now who is premature; born three months early, her family is known for drug abuse/user/the whole nine yards). He is wanting to get back together however, I don't feel the same anymore. To make a long story short, he's broken my heart. It had taken me awhile to get over him (until I met my daughters father, which would be about a year and half, give or take a little. His wife has cheated with a couple of men. The first year of their marriage, she was in a relationship with another man while staying married to my ex boyfriend, having him watch her kids while she's out with her boyfriend in his car. He reconciled on making things work but continued to call me wanting to leave her for me. She continued her old ways. Then she slept with his brother. How'd he found out was at a family reunion from his cousin. He couldn't take it anymore so he turned to my ex boyfriend and told him. He left for a few months to his mother side of the family. He took her with him (she still pregnant at the time). His wife wasn't welcomed to his grandmother's house. His cousin took him in however, there was a catch (which he didn't tell me the whole story). He then came back to his father side and started back up working for his father's janitorial business. I have been talking to him giving him words of wisdom, giving him faith things will work out. Pray. He wants to leave her but is still in the marriage because of his son. He's been calling and giving him support. Then he mentions about getting back together, that he won't screw up again. I am not going to give him another chance. I feel like I am interferring with his marriage because I've been giving him support and the words of wisdom. I keep telling him to talk to his wife on how he feels. Instead of calling me, talk to your wife. I don't want to turn him down because he needs someone to talk to. Should I continue?
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007): Tell him to get lost. All you are doing is giving him some sort of false hope, which isn't good to anyone! The problems within his marriage are for him and his wife to sort out and you shouldn't even be getting involved. Tell him, quite firmly, that you both finished with each other and have moved on, he is married and need to get it sorted out with her. Just don't keep listening to him, you are encourageing the situation.
Take care
xx
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