A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been having fights with my boyfriend of over a year for some months now, over trivial issues, and I mostly chalked it up to distance. We made up and quite recently, things were going on fine till he called me and we got into another fight. He tried to get the conversation back to normal ground almost immediately, but he had been very disrespectful to me and my opinions and questions during the fight, so understandably, my tone was a bit cold. He made me out to be a child because of that and said when I was ready to talk to him, I should call. It's been 3 days now, and neither I nor him have called the other. Should I call? Or am I right in assuming that if I were important to him, he would call? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 June 2016):
 Do you feel that this relationship is working, or do you think deep down that it has run its course? The thing is all couples argue, but arguing all the time usually means there is something wrong, and not talking for three days is quite a long time in a relationship, imagine if you both had children? I think you should call him and ask to talk, and both talk about how you feel.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (3 June 2016):
 I suggest you put aside the question of who-should-call-who.... and sit down and ask yourself if you REALLY want to be (continue) in a "relationship" which has numerous arguments/disagreements as you've described....
Real loving relationships don't have time or energy for such interactions.....
Good luck.....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2016): "He made me out to be a child because of that and said when I was ready to talk to him, I should call."
He backed off because he felt he wasn't getting through to you while you're too angry. So the ball is in your court.
He asked you you to call when you're ready to talk to him.
That means he doesn't want to argue. He left you an opening to come to talk. So talk. Put your anger aside. Behave like an adult and work out our issues by being proactive and having civil discussion. Not angry language.
As long as you're refusing to call, you're angry. I wouldn't call you either. I'd let you stew in your juices until you get over yourself.
If distance is your problem; either mutually agree to close the distance, or get a new boyfriend who lives closer.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 June 2016):
 In your shoes I would assume that he is NOT going to call and that if you want to resume contact is up to you.
That's what he meant : YOU call me when you are ready to talk because I am not going to call you first.
I have no idea whether he is right or wrong, since I was not there to listen to your conversation, anyway apparently he feels he is in the right. If he is not a tantrumy type who says things just to take them back right after, or someone who likes to play games , I would take what he said at face value.
Should you assume that, if you are important to him, he would call you first ? Not really. He may very well be assuming the same : that if he is important to you, you'd call him first.
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