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Should I bring up the fact he may be cheating?

Tagged as: Cheating, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfiend for 3 years now and we have had our share of bad times. lately we have been doing really well adn getting along great. but last night he had too much to drink and fell asleep in the front room. i went to bed in the bedroom. around mignight his phone - which was in the bedroom - went off. the caller id said Betty. my name is NOT Betty. so curious i decided to look at his txt messages. i know this was wrong but i had to know what was going on. he had txt from different numbers says stuff like i cant hook up withyou tonight i just left town and i thought you wanted to see me adn when are you coming over again. i didnt recognize any of the numbers. im worrieed that hes cheating but im afraid to bring it up. what should i do?

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (11 June 2010):

raiders agony auntThe best thing is for you to bring it up, You have to know if he is playing you or not. Ask him.

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (11 June 2010):

YouWish agony auntSure sounds like he's cheating. Why would he need to hook up with this Betty person?

Before you confront him, have a strategy for what you'll do if it comes out that he has been cheating. The last thing you want to do is get hyper emotional and lose control. Also, you may want to gather a bit more evidence of his cheating, because what you have now he might try to wiggle out of when you confront him.

Don't be afraid to bring it up. You are worth someone who is faithful to you. Also, staying in control will keep him from trying to turn it back onto you for "snooping" or fast talking his way out of the hot seat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010):

Perhaps take a note of the number and call her. It may be completely innocent, and if it is, no harm done. Ask the person on the line if they know him, and ask them if they wouldnt mind telling you how they know him. Obviously make up some kind of story so that they dont know its his girlfriend calling them. Just say something like, it sounds childish but, "you really fancy him, and just wanted to know if he had a girlfriend". She will either confirm that she is having a fling with him, or if its just a friend, they will confirm that he has a girlfriend and that hes not available.

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A female reader, Fedup.com United Kingdom +, writes (11 June 2010):

Hey, you should definatley bring it up... A bit weird the sorts of texts he's been recieving. Start the subject calmly. Has his behaviour changed toward you recently? 3 years is a long time so I know it's hard, you probably would rather not know but if he is cheating then of corse you want to know! It could be harmless though so have an open mind. Goodluck :-) x

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