A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:in the past i went from 0-to-60 in a matter of weeks when dating, and once the infatuation wore off, there was the inevitable argument that i'd pick to get out of it. that, or i just wouldn't call to the point it just fizzled away.i met my girlfriend a few months ago and --being aware of my past and trying to avoid making the same mistakes because i liked her so much-- i almost scared her off trying not to move so fast; she took it as I "didnt seem interested". the more time we spent together, i ended up following the same path, a bad argument happened, and it almost ended. we worked through it and haven't argued since.but last night we had a long talk and she got kind of choked up and said that this all happened so fast and said as much as she loved me, she was equally scared she'd get her heart broken, in which i agreed-by now the newness would have worn off and id be bored but im not, and im scared that one day, shell get bored with me and just walk away. i asked her if she thought a break would help and she said she didn't know what she wanted.i only seem to know two speeds, so how can i find a good medium where we can slow down enough that were not scaring each other, but we still know that one another is interested?
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Go out and do your own stuff on the days you don't see her. If you have an interest, introduce it to her, share a hobby. There is a million and one things to do on this planet and you both sound obsessed with breaking up. That must make you both paranoid and finding fault where there isnt one there. I suggest you try to make your time together interesting and exciting. Don't live in each others pockets, do other things as well youre not joined at the hip. On the days you don't see her, send her a nice text that you are thinking about her. Hope this helps.
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