A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:How am feeling these days, been with my girlfriend for over a year now, we get along pretty good, sex maybe once a month, I want more but she is too tired all the time so I quit trying, so I do myself, the thing is in the past six years had my heart broken two times, my fault, I let the red flags go right over my head,I fell in love with both of them, In Love, my girlfriend I do love her, but it isn't the same, I want to feel in love, I treated them a lot better, too good, I treat my new one good, I think of them every day alot, wondering if they ever think of me, an if karma is real, so should I break up with my new girlfriend, cause I don't feel the love i felt for them.It's me again
View related questions:
fell in love Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): From the symptoms you've described, this is how you know if it's working or not. In your previous relationships; your feelings grew and you felt compelled to demonstrate your feelings through your actions.
From the lack-luster description of your present relationship; it seems your girlfriend isn't all that hyped about the the relationship either.
Seems you're just complacent and comfortable for the sake of codependency. Just having somebody, as opposed to being alone. You love her, but you're not "in-love" with her. Sounds like you've hit the expiration-date; and you're past the "sell-by" date stamped in your heart.
First talk with your girlfriend to see how she feels. Maybe the relationship went flat; because you're too busy comparing the past with the present. Maybe you haven't invested your feelings enough to get what you need; because you still have residual-feelings for the other women, and haven't focused enough on what you have in the present.
Your prognosis isn't good. You've let too much time go by. Now you're just coasting on fumes. If you don't love her, let her go. She might surprise you when she tells you that she feels the same. Then you'll have second-thoughts and wonder if she ever loved you. That's a normal-reflex in your ego. If you don't really love her, don't hold on to her like she's your property. Set her free.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2018):
 I think if you are not fulfilled in the relationship maybe it's time to let her go.
You didn't add your age, but regardless of that, sex only once a month is VERY little for most people. I get being tired and all but it sounds more like she wants a FRIEND not a BOY-FRIEND.
And you CAN love someone, CARE for someone and NOT be a good match.
...............................
A
male
reader, Allumeuse  +, writes (24 March 2018):
If you aren't happy now, after one year with your relationship, when you are still in the honeymoon period then it isn't going to get any better. Finish it now and find someone who you really care about.
But, you can never treat someone 'too good'. If you treat someone well, and they don't treat you well back, or take advantage- that's on them, not that you treated them too well.
...............................
|
