A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We've only been dating for a little over six months and have known each other for seven months, but I love him dearly. Despite our similarities, we're quite different in the sense that he's known for being a cheater/womanizer, he's sort of a man-whore, and other things. He's great but inwardly insecure because he feels like I can do better and will leave him(or cheat on him) since it'd be karma for everything he's did to women; he also feels like he needs me and can't do better as a whole because no woman will be "exactly like me". With that being said, I'm in college and the semester is about to end. I'll have to go back home and won't return until August since my mom isn't really fond of him (he's everything that she doesn't like, especially the fact that he's not Christian or in college).I could visit him and all of that maybe, but he always says how he has weak willpower and has several opportunities to cheat on me yet hasn't done anything because he loves me. It'll break my heart to have to leave him since I love him, but the fact that he says he's basically liable to cheat bothers me so much since I have endless opportunities to cheat and never do anything because cheating is gross and hurtful. Should I break up with my boyfriend?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2013): You love a man-whore. What does this have to do with being Christian or anything else? A man-whore is a man-whore.
Go with what Mom says on this one :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): As a Christian (and a very nonjudgmental one, I promise!!), I can attest to how difficult it can be to have a relationship with someone who does not share that same set of beliefs and values. I'm your same age, and last semester I dated a guy who had a past of being a womanizer. He also did drugs and had no future plans. I'm a nerd so we were an awful fit, but I stayed because he played the SAME cards your BF is playing: "I can be better" "I miss my old life but love you so much" "I don't deserve you after the things I've done" etc....And honestly, when they tell you they don't deserve you because they're not as good; BELIEVE THEM!! You sound like a sweet person- go find someone who doesn't have a past of using women and breaking all the values you hold dear (totally not saying you need a Christian- just someone with good old morals!) This guy is warning you to get away before he makes the inevitable mistake of cheating. He's simply to immature and rude to control himself despite how great you are. Get out of this before he does what you fear most and it will probably hurt you more than you would expect. I wish you all the best!
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 April 2013):
 Of course it should bother you. He's manipulating you. You can see that, right? He's pulling this crap because he wants you to basically go crazy needing him while you're away. He's trying to make sure YOU don't find someone better than him.
He's also revealing WHY he's been a cheater -- because he has very low self-esteem and NEEDED the attentions of many women, including the jealousy and pain from whoever he was cheating on, to bolster his ego. This is why he says that he thinks he can't do better than you.
However, he WANTS you to be upset. I wouldn't and couldn't trust him after he says something like that. I would never date a man with a history of serial cheating in the first place, partly because someone who cheats constantly, has a ton of sex partners, and can't help himself is at risk for being a petri dish of STD's, as well as the fact that if I know he's a cheater, I won't waste my time being worried if I'm next in line and he truly gets off on illicit affairs. No thank you.
I say drop him, because at 7 months in, to say he's weak and at risk to cheat and has many opportunities, it really isn't going to get any better. Stay with him, and you'll flush your life down the toilet. He can manipulate you to quit your job and school, forsake your family and friends, and basically tremble at the thought of his getting naked and ejaculating into any number of women when your back is turned.
You're not in high school anymore. Have much higher standards when it comes to who you date. You don't need to scrape the bottom of the barrel. You're in college and he isn't. What on earth is he preparing to do for the rest of his life, because usually, the ones who make great livings at marathon sex with many people are called either prostitutes or porn stars. Otherwise, they're called fry cooks and slackers.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): Honestly, i think you should find someone better for yourself. If he even says himself that he will cheat on you then you really do need to find someone who loves you and wouldn't even think of cheating on you! I know it will be hard, but there are much better men in the world!
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