A
female
age
36-40,
*zrlinz
writes:Aunts! I'm in desperate need of help, I don't know what to do and I'm making myself sick about it. I got in a huuuuuuge fight with my boyfriend last night. We were out at a club watching a friends band play, and he was acting like an asshole to me. So, when we went home, I confronted him, and started yelling at him. Saying everything is always about him, its always what he wants and if he doesn't want to do anything thats the way it goes regardless of anyone else's feelings. I started crying really hard and he didn't do anything. He had to work in 5 hours, so he kept wanting to go to sleep...which I feel bad about now. I had an anxiety attack too last night, and that drove him to go sleep in the other room for a bit. I convinced him to come back, and anytime I tried to touch him he pulled away. I don't know what to do right now, if I should break up with him or whether to give him space or try to talk it out...this is one of the worst fights we have had and I can't take it. I'm so sad that I'm making myself sick. I don't know what to do! I'm so sad! Pleasehelp me, I really have no idea what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 April 2009):
Well if you are determined that it's all your fault then just apologise and carry on the same.
Try not to get so hysterical in future.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, rzrlinz +, writes (4 April 2009):
rzrlinz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand where your coming from. I mean, yes, he should have made me feel better, but at the same time I should have given him space. I know him very well...and should have read the signs that he was not going to open up at all. But otherwise, we very much are equals in the relationship. He works very hard to be able to provide for us(we live together) and gets up out of bed everyday to go to work without complaint. He had a bad childhood, which is why he closes up during fights. I don't want to get into it, but I understand. He is a loving, protective boyfriend...and we don't fight that often. But when we do, its a blowout. I just feel bad, but I know I'm not all to blame and I told him that. He kept telling me repeatedly we would talk about it tomorrow when he got home from work, but I kept pushing. And pushing. So in a way, I was being selfish as well by trying to make him talk to me. It goes both ways I guess.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 April 2009):
No, I'm sorry, he does not have an argument here.
You were upset because he was an arse. He can't just say "well it's pointless" and turn over and ignore you.
When he gets home say that you are sorry if you were not able to talk last night because you were upset but you are calm now and want to talk about how he is still selfish and it's always about him.
Don't forget that he's still in the wrong and even if you were a bit over upset to talk, he still needs to prove he is capable of being in an equal relationship.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, rzrlinz +, writes (4 April 2009):
rzrlinz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI agree, that he should have stayed up and tried to work things out with me, but I can also see his side. I wouldn't even let him go to sleep. I kept pushing him and shoving him to wake up to talk to me...but I was obviously forcing him to talk and so he shut down completely..I should have waited until a time where we could talk rationally, that's what he says. He says he will never talk to me when I am sobbing and crying because it never goes anywhere. He is at work now...I sent him a text apologizing and that I would leave him alone today...but I don't know how to act when he gets home from work.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (4 April 2009):
So you were crying and having anxiety attacks and he was more worried about his sleep.
Wow he obviously REALLY cares about you!
Dump him.
If he gave stuff about you then he would have stayed up all night to work things out, not just thought about himself.
Why go out with a selfish arsehole when you could have a guy who actually wants to make you happy?
Good Luck!! xx
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