A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of over a year broke up with me a few months ago. I tried to get him back but couldn't. Then I tried just being friends with him thinking something would re-spark (kind of a lame plan since this is long distance.)didn't work so I told him I can't keep in contact with him anymore because I'm still in love with him and need to get over it. It's been a few weeks.Here's my question. I have to put my dog down tomorrow. He's in pain and can't walk. My bf loved that dog. loved. Do I break my no-contact and tell him we're putting the dog down tomorrow? (he's still away so it's not like he can come see him.)or am I using my poor dog as an excuse to contact my bf?too emotional to think objectively!! what's the right thing to do?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 August 2009):
 No you shouldn't break the NO Contact and call him. The dog is yours and even if he cared for the dog, it really isn't any of his business that you have to put it down.
You KNOW that you really want to USE the dog as an excuse to call him, but really. He is over you. You need to get over him. As much as it suck that you two broke up IT IS OVER. Time to move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2009): Text your ex bf saying that you thought he might want to know that you are putting the dog down... then wait and see.... It will depend totally on him whether he wants to chat to you or not.
It is a very emotional time when we have to put an animal down, especially a well loved one and if he loved the dog like you say he did, I am sure he will make some contact with you. But that contact might just be to comiserate over the dog, not to strike up a new romance.
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (11 August 2009):
 I hope you haven't made a decision yet about this question, because I think you already know the answer. The answer is that you do NOT break your no contact rule with this guy. You ARE using the dog as an excuse to talk to him. This guy didn't love the dog, because he doesn't see the dog anymore. He broke up with you and left. He didn't love the dog, he supposedly used to love you. He doesn't come over and pay special visits to the dog, nor does he invest anymore toward the dog. It's your dog. You love him. You are making this as an excuse to talk to him and possibly to get him over to your place. Plain and simple.
So what do you do? Delete his number and get ready for the grieving process for your dog. Alone. Or with friends and family, but not this guy. A year is a quite a while to be together, so it'll take more than a few weeks to get over him. Especially if he was the one that broke up with you. I know you can do it though, and congrats on catching yourself with the entire 'excuse' process. It means you are beginning to take the steps of healing as far as your relationship goes, which is a great sign for the future.
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