A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Here is my story and wonder what should I do? I am back with my ex boyfriend that I was with when I was 16 (now 21) we dated until I was 18.. I had to move to the mainland after high school. I cheated on him before but he took me back and our relationship was not the same as before.. when I moved to the mainland he asked me questions if I wanted to be with him. All of the sudden he stopped calling me and blocked my number.. I had to call him with another phone and he told me he doesn't want to be with me; he's with another girl. I was hurt and could not believe that I had my karma and I never cheated on anybody ever since. I tried to go back to him but he refused. I could not stand living in the mainland (almost a year) and I wanted to go back to hawaii where he was close, however, I was too late and I found out that he was going to have a baby girl with the girl he cheated on me with.. I tried to move on but couldn't and cried many nights for about two years. I am 21 now and I found out they broke up. I still tried to go back to him but he refused to be back to me and church was more important. Even though he kept pushing me, we end up becoming friends for about 3 months.. we talked about us and I guess he knew that I really did love him and try to do anything to be together again.. this January 2009 he asked me back out and knows that we belong together.. I'm all happy because I always wanted him back even though he had a baby.. I thought it would be okay, but now as time goes by I look at the child and see that it isn't mines. I can't accept that he has a child with someone else and afraid that he will go back out with her and end up leaving me again. It hurts because there is nothing that I could do about his child. He said that he wouldn't go back with her and made a mistake to be with someone and especially having a child with someone he hardly even knows. Is it wrong to feel this way? Should I break it off, because I can't accept his child in my life?
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (25 February 2009):
hi Im in a similar aituation except my boyfriend didnt cheat on me some woman he was seeing for a month came back from poland & informed him that hes a father (the child was 3 months old at the time) they never got to know each other either to the extent that she spelled my boyfriends name wrong when giving his details to the child support agency.
nearly 2 months on Im still struggling to come to terms with it so I know what your going through.like you I dont know what to do. please feel free to message me & talk about it,Deirdre
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (25 February 2009):
 Based on everything you have told us, I think it is time for both of you to move on. Children happen, and it is never their fault, only our own. If you cannot accept that there is a child in his life, forever, then you owe it to all of you, especially that baby, to move on and allow him to find someone who won't be put off by his history.
There seems to be a lot of bad blood between you two, and despite how much I'm sure you love him, it sounds like it's time to call it quits. Find someone who will give you your own beautiful child someday.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): yes hun im sorry to say but you should . this is how the evil stepmom thing starts. trust me . i have so been where you are 2x once with a fwb and then i had a scare where my current boyfriend and i thought there might be a child with another woman... the child deserves to be happy and loved . its no longer about him. its about his child. i really kow the hurt your feeling. for your own helth his and the childs you should leave please let us know waht you think.
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