A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay this is the deal…my ex and I were together for 4 years. We owned a house together, about 20 minutes from my family. He broke up with me 2 weeks ago because he felt the passion had died. He moved back in with his parents, 14 hours away! I love him with all my heart and want him back. We have been talking, and he finally admitted to me then the reason he broke up with me – because the passion had died and he didn’t think I was “adventurous” in bed. The thing is – I want to be but I didn’t really speak to him about it until the other night on the phone! He was shocked that that was what I wanted too and said it was ashamed because things could have been so different with us. He has missed his family and plans to stay up there. He doesn’t think I can handle it there being so far away from my family and so is reluctant to give it another chance. This is my question – how do you think he would take it if I booked a flight to that area to see him, and tried to rekindle the passion? I am willing to relocate for him if we are able to get the passion back! He tells me he needs time to think about it, but I am scared he is going to convince himself not to give it a chance because he doesn’t think I will be able to handle the weather and missing my family living in the North (because I am a southerner). Please help!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): i always say never leave any stone unturned in an attempt to rectify a relationship. well, you have not tried all the alternatives yet, so yes please make plans to go see him. if you both feel this way then what is stopping you. but please know that maybe you are the one only trying to rekindle the lost love/passion/sex. he needs to try as well. but if you do try and he is still not on the same page then you know that it was not meant to be. you will then have to accept and move on but since there is hope please try everything. but also please be realistic. do not just hook up and think everything will be ok. work on the relationship. try to have more open communication. take better care of yourself, groom yourself better. make you your priority and re evaluate yourself. in a long standing relationship we sometimes tend to be sloppy. so please do things differently. be more passionate, intimate and bond with this man. intimacy is just not sex, it is the other aspects in your life too. value your time with him and i truly hope this works for you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009): Yeah , I would give him some space for a while also. Then after a couple of weeks see how it goes!
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (6 July 2009):
 Suggest your idea to him. But maybe leave it for a while longer. It sounds like he needs space for himself. Dont contact him for a while then in a couple of weeks suggest it using the excuse you want to finalise the relationship.
let us know how you get on.
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