A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:If you partner didn't text you back when they told you they would then would it be a deal breaker for you? I am getting increasingly frustrated with my 36 year old partner. We are in a long distance relationship. Just recently he has become very non-commital to making plans with me at the weekend. When I try to ask him when we can see each other at the weekend, he won't give me a straight answer. He has been working very long hours lately in an attempt to save enough for us to move in together and sometimes he will not hear of extra shift work until the last minute. I am wondering if he is being non-commital at the weekends because he is waiting to hear if he will be getting extra work, but he doesn't tell me this is the case. When I saw him on Weds, I asked him when we would see each other at the weekend and again he was non-commital. He said 'I will text you tomorrow night if I get a chance as I may be working an extra shift'. Anyway, no text came on Thursday and then none on Friday or Saturday either. We are now on Sunday so it looks like I won't be seeing him again. I don't know what his game is. I don't mind if he is working all weekend, I just wish he would tell me. However, because he isn't telling me anything all kinds of ideas pop into my head. I don't want to split up with him as we get on well when we're together. I simply don't understand why he won't make any plans anymore. Can you help shed some light on this and any ideas on how to deal with it? Thank you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I dont think you should give up. I went through something similar like this with my long distance girl, however i was acting like your man is. not because i did not want to see my girl it was just that i was affraid of hurting her, so i would just avoid making plans when i couldnt see her or if i was going through some personal problems, so i would basically not say anything. You heard the saying, "sometimes its just best not to say anything" Maybe he is treading lightly and does not want to hurt you and he is thinking if he cant make time for you, then you will up and leave him. So see it from his perspective .Just dont give up, tell him you what you told us, that you would rather know so it puts your mind at ease. its as simple as that :) I learnt this because that is exactly what my long distance girl said to me, a friend told her to say it haha funny how things work eh!Goodluck
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