A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Just decided to break up with my MM after over 12 years We had a lot of ups and downs as well I just got to the point now where I had enough He tells me i’m the love of his life the woman he loves with all his heart , but that there is no way he will leave his wife for me as his kids and grand kids would probably disown him,and he couldn’t bear that to happen....so he stays in an affectionless marriage...after all these years of loving him I have decided that he’s just wasting my timeHe swears he isn’t and he will love me forever and for all eternity and beyond and if ever I change my mind and want to resume our relationship he will always be there waiting for me to come back to him..... should I believe him after all these years or not .
View related questions:
married man Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2019): He can say he loves you all he likes and he might but SO WHAT? He DOESNT love you enough to give up what he has with his wife and he is robbing you every single day . Robbing you of the chance of happiness with a man who will give himself , his life and his energy entirely to YOU instead of another woman.
You need to start valuing yourself more instead of thinking your only worth a man who is happy to steal from you and leave you alone every night whilst he is cuddled up next to another woman.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2019): He will be waiting for you to resume being the other woman. You can go back by all means but your leaving him now has not changed his mind that he wont leave his wife no matter what.
Dont you actually want better than what you have, are you honestly okay with cheating with this man behind his wife's back? I can only imagine you have justified this in your head to think she deserves that. Sorry but this is just about what you want, no thought of her. He would do it to you if he was married to you, remember that
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (11 July 2019):
 In an affectionless marriage the kids, who are adult enough to have kids of their own, would have picked up any bad vibes that were around, they would notice the lack of affection, they would see and feel if the relationship lacked love …. if the parents in such a marriage were to split any children of such a marriage, unless they have been raised to be selfish, will be relieved the bad marriage is over and the parents are free to seek fulfilling lives elsewhere, whether this means a new partner or becoming a body builder in the mid 50s or whatever. He is lying about the state of his marriage.
His excuse is a poor one. If he loved you nothing would stop him moving heaven and earth to be with you while still ensuring his non affectionate wife and his kids, grandkids are still okay.
Extricating himself from such a marriage can be done if he practices finesse and his end goal is to result is as little harm to all as possible.
He doesn't love you.
He is a grandfather, the end of his life is nigh …. consider, if you get back with him what happens if he dies before you. You will have no say in his farewell, if he is ill prior you will not be able to visit and soothe his fevered brow, you wont be able to attend his funeral and nobody will say to you "I'm sorry for you loss".
You've seen the light and removed yourself from a situation that cant be described in any positive way. You are still young, your profile indicates not yet 50. Seize this opportunity to decide how you want to live the next 30 to 40 years … build a fulfilled future for yourself, this man doesn't care a jot for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2019): You've been together for 12 years OP! Of course he loves you! Most affairs don't get past the blissful fun and games, temporary escape til the lustre wears off phase. You've made it past that. Just because he's married doesn't mean there aren't real feelings involved. It's still a relationship. It just becomes way too hard on the mistress over time. :(
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (10 July 2019):
 Let me tell you something. If his wife ever finds out about you, he will drop you like a hot potato, regardless of whether he professes undying love or not.
He might tell you he loves you but he loves himself and his comfortable life much more.
Do you think you deserve better?
...............................
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 July 2019):
 Hmm, should I believe that a man who lives with another family and is married to another woman loves me? Are you living on this planet?
He gets no strings attached sex outside of his marriage, of course he doesn’t love you. How can you love someone else when you’re married? If he did he would leave His wife for you, it’s really simple.
...............................
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (10 July 2019):
OP...Honeypie just laid down the law....And I am pretty sure you feel the same way inside.
Now from the male side of things...Women have what we need, and we need it bad...cost... Commitment. But with you, there is no cost...you give it away for free, and almost every person on this planet loves free.
The cost of something or someone makes you stop and think...Do I really want to invest that much time and effort. FREE...Well...You get where I am coming from.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 July 2019):
 It all comes down to what YOU want in life?
DO you want to be some married man's dirty secret? because THAT is ALL you will ever be for him. While he might claim that he LOVES you, his ACTIONS shows that you are NOT that important to him. YOU are NOT the one he WANTS to share the rest of his life with.
WORDS are CHEAP, OP... DIRT CHEAT. All he has to do is UTTER them, backing them up with ACTUAL action is what he can't and won't do.
I could tell you that "I love you" would that make it true?
Do you WANT a partner or spouse? A relationship were YOU are important?
You have already WASTED 12 years on this man... how much more do you want to waste?
Are words really enough for you? Do you respect yourself that little? Do you not KNOW that you deserve more and better?
CUT all contact and BLOCK all ways for him to get in contact and then WORK on moving forward.
...............................
|
