A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel very uncomfortable talking about this even with my close friends. A couple of times in my life I had a very strong intuitive feelings about people whom I love (friends and family).Since I am a rational person, I've tried suppressing them and I succeed. I haven't had one in years (ever since my beloved aunt died).Most of them were like "notifications". I had a feeling/dream/thought that someone is going to die. It was mostly unpreventable (I don't know how to explain this). I say mostly because when I had a feeling that my mum was going to die, I said nothing because... I mean, how do you say a thing like that? I should have taken her to a hospital and get checked out, but I didn't. Needless to say, from time to time I question my decision. A few hours after I had left for school, she had a fatal heart-attack. As we said goodbyes I looked at her and said to myself something like "this is the last time you're seeing her alive, but everything will be okay".Anyway, to get back to my question. My husband travels a lot for work and I never ever had this bad feeling. A couple of weeks ago he told me that he has to replace a colleague of his and go on a one day trip (leave on Thursday and get back on Friday). I felt my stomach turn. Even before he said he would go by a plane I had a thought of a plane crash (he usually travels by train). I kept pushing this thought away. I kept suppressing this feeling, but it's there. Other thoughts pop into my head too, about the aftermath of this potential accident, but I keep telling myself that these are JUST thoughts and have no merit whatsoever. Like me, he is a rational person, I don't know how to go about this. Honestly, if I could do something, I would rather he didn't go... but it's business not pleasure. It's not up to us to decide.So... have any of you had similar experiences?I've talked to my shrink about it (she knows about the previous times) and we agreed that I must have unconsciously noticed that all the people who died were ill. Maybe I noticed something about my mum too, maybe she was too pale, had problems breathing or whatever, and the though popped into my head. But this is different. It's not about somebody being ill. It's about a plane crash. I just don't know what to do... As I said I am rational. I'm agnostic. When I am ill I see a doctor not a "healer". When I felt stressed out from work I started seeing my shrink.This just feels so weird.Would you tell your husband or not? If yes, what would you say?FYI, he's not his own boss and not going could provoke so me serious consequences, so it's not as if he can just postpone. I feel also bad to put this thought into his head and irrationally scare him. I don't want him to do anything he wouldn't normally do. He would have to LIE to his boss in order not to go. He has a lecture to give and there's no one to replace himAny thoughts?Thax! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2016): Thank you again all for your answers. My husband went a day earlier and got back a day earlier. It was decided at the last moment. And I was relieved when he told me.
Anyway... I dob't feel too stupid for feeling teh way I did... just enough ;)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2016): Dear Tottochan, thank you for your answer!
It is indeed strange... I can't give you an explanation.
We haven't discussed it ever since I told him. He decided to go and that's that.
Iknow that I'm somatizing my fear. For days now I've been having pain in my back and my left kidney started hurting (kidneys are very sensitive to prolonged fear). I've seen my doctor, all teh etsts indicate some sort of inflammation or stones. I'm having an ultra-sound tomorrow.
Anyway, it's just my body reacting to this. I keep chasing the bad thoughts away and nourishing positive ones.
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A
female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (22 February 2016):
Hi there,
I think you should tell your husband about your feelings, and that ought to convince him not to go. I don't know, but this happening so many times with you has got to mean something.
Many years ago, one evening, my mother suddenly had an uneasy feeling and suddenly told my father that she wanted to go back home and see her father. That time there weren't any cell phones, and I think we didn't even have a landline then.
So we go driving to her home - it's practically a two day or three day drive. And when we reached there we found out that my grandfather had breathed his last.
I don't know how or why all this happened, but it gives me goosebumps each time I think of it.
Tell your husband about your feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2016): I've told him this morning. Here's how and what happened.
For weeks now I've been having either nightmares or dreams about my family I have no contact with any more, which is not by my choice entirely and which is the only family I have left.
Last night I dreamed about them yet again. I talked in my sleep, which happens so rarely. When I woke up, my husband asked, who heard me talk "to my cousins", asked me why I keep dreaming about them. So I told him that it was the result of my fear of losing him since I had been having a feeling that something would happen to him on this business trip. He stopped me right there, asking him not to tell him more because there was nothing he could do regarding the trip and I decided not to go further.
So I did what I could, but I don't feel relieved.
I'll deal with my own fear and stupid thoughts that I could have done something (like maybe find a better job so that he could have quit his since he doesn't like it anyway...).
So thank you again WiseOwlE and Olderthandirt and Garbo whose comments I have just seen.
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (21 February 2016):
 It's impossible to oriole the counter factual. So if he does not go and lived it does not necessarily mean that your institution was right; it may mean that he lived because your intuition was wrong. But, if you don't tell him and he dies, then you have guilt.
Therefore, you tell him what your intuition is and let him decide whether he wants to believe your intuition or the impossible counter factual.
This is why spiritual things are about a belief rather than strictly facts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2016): Thank you so much for your answer WiseOwlE!I too come from a society where certain traditions are respected and where people are more open for the "gut feelings", astrology etc. But I am really rational and do not believe. Or rather, like you, believe in the ability to "read between the lines".Everybody kept saying that my mum had a "gift". But she was like me (or rather I grew up to be like her). Never observed the world in that manner. I remember her "saving" me on one occasion that I knew I was "saved". It was weird now when I think of it, but since she was cool about it and pretended like it was no big deal (and since we never talked about it), I never thought of it as anything special. She said goodbye to all of her close friends a couple of up to days before she died. But she never talked about "it" (the feeling, the "knowledge"), whatever that "it" may have been. What's more she always glorified the Cartesian approach. She never made fun of people who believed in something (God, ghosts, astrology), but she made it clear what she thought about it.I'll talk to my husband and leave it up to him. It could be separation anxiety. Just because I've never had it doesn't mean I can't get it.Also, the weird things is, I've just learned that somehow at that time almost ALL of his family (certainly everybody he cares about) will be in town (and they live in different countries, including his mother). And a terrible thought came to mind "Oh, yes, for the funeral". I chased it away, because it's just a thought and has no merit... but it is a sign that all of this has been stressing me too much.Thank you again for your answer!
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (21 February 2016):
 Sounds legit to me let him go and don't overthink it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2016): Intuition is subjective. You cannot exactly prove it, nor can you rely on it. Gut-feelings and premonitions are a natural human instinct; and almost everyone has the ability to anticipate potential disaster. However; anxieties and fears often come from different sources, and the mind has a way of trying to triangulate or analyze the data we pickup consciously and subconsciously, and try to turn it into reason.
Yes, you may tell your husband what you feel. If it is strong enough, you should. There just may be a turn of events that may delay or cancel the flight anyway. You are searching for peace of mind, and it may not necessarily be a plane crash you you're having a bad feeling about. It could be something related or in that particular realm of events. It's up to your husband to decide how to react to your feelings. Just don't allow yourself to always give-in to paranoia; because you just may not be happy with the fact your husband has to travel. It may all culminate from separation anxiety. We often equate separation with abandonment and that often causes an inner-panic.
I am of Native American heritage. My grandmother and mother often had "visions" and gave warnings to loved ones. My mother was more like you. She suppressed her premonitions being a very religious woman. Sometimes her feelings were just too strong, and she was always over-protective. We listened and heeded her warnings to please her and to give her "peace of mind." My dad often told my siblings and me to humor our loving mother. I cannot say if she was right or wrong, we just listened and possibly avoided ill-fate.
I do not believe in psychic ability. I myself am a perceptive person; but I read the personality and hidden meanings that come through when I talk to people or they write a post. We subconsciously send messages and it takes
a certain gift to "read between the lines." I never attribute hitting the mark to psychic ability. In my world it's called wisdom and experience. I am also a spiritual person, and my belief is that nothing happens without cause or reason. If anything is meant to happen, it will. Destiny can be rerouted, recalculated, or delayed. It cannot be stopped. It's just a chain of events that leads to certain circumstances; and from there, to a final conclusion.
Give yourself peace of mind and tell your husband you have angst about his trip; and use whatever spiritual connections you do have to give yourself the faith he will be okay. Simply put, pray on it. It can't hurt. If you don't; at least free your mind and let him know wherever he goes, your love goes with him.
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