A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My gf says she loves me 'forever' LOL, not sure if i should believe it or not. Reason i ask is beacuse she just got out of a 4 year relationship, APROX 1 YEAR AGO, and we got togather about 7 months ago, she thinks her ex was just a lust relationship and that was abusive and not 'true love', however arent all girls fall for the bad guy? the abusive partner who awlays hurts them? , thats my thoery anyway seing as i see so many posts about being hurt and still in love, so that boggles my mind she would say this to me, she keeps reminding me every week or so, i love u forever, or ' iw ant to be with u forever', but as you can tell my defense mechanism is up, and its worrying me, im afraid to get hurt.. iv asked her heaps of times about her ex she says she does not love him, but the thing is, iv been with girls in the past (2 to be exact) who have SAID THE EXACT SAME THING TO ME, only to find out later onthey are stil in love with there ex and they go running back, so now you see my predicament, just reaching out here if anyone has experienced this, or any girls can shed some light on what i shoudl believe or not believe..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): You are right to have suspicions about this. Tons of girls do exactly what you dealt with in the past.
But still, you can't keep holding the past against the next person. Give your GF an honest chance.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): i was with my ex for 4 years, nearly 5 and we split up last october because i couldnt take any more of the hurt, lies and his constant infidelity. i loved him as a lover, a partner, a brother, a best friend - i have never been so in love with someone and i never thought i could be. but i can honestly say, less than a year on and i am completely not in love with him. i never thought it would be possible but i honestly do not love him any longer. yes i care for him, but thats as far as it goes. so i think you should believe her when she says she loves you so much and not him, everyones different and it seems to me that you should hold on to such a lovely, loving girl! :)
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A
female
reader, Puffalapeno +, writes (29 May 2012):
So, you're going to punish her for what others have done to you? I understand being wary, but honestly, if she hasn't given you a reason to not believe her then why wouldn't you? Not every woman wants to be treated like crap. You can keep trying to prove your theory right and eventually you'll push every person that you try to get involved with away. How about treating each person as an individual and not lumping them all together? I think you'll find that will bring you better results. Falling in love always has risks. Sometimes you're going to get burned, but at some point you'll find someone that will work out. And do yourself a huge favor and stop asking about her ex, you're never going to get an answer that will bring you peace, accept that she had a relationship and leave it at that. Keep asking and she might unintentionally give you an answer that you'll interpret incorrectly and you'll be caught in this vicious circle even longer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): Roughly five months past since she split from her ex before you got with her so, I'd say that's enough time to get completely over him and that you're not a rebound for her. Everyone has had bad relationships in their lives which affect how they feel about future relationships but, don't tie everyone up with the same ribbon. The best way to expand in life is to get out of our comfort zones and try new things otherwise we'll be going round in the same circles forever, take chances otherwise you may never know. Give her the benefit of the doubt and believe her when she says she loves you because I'm sure she wouldn't tell you if she didn't feel anything for you. Enjoy what you have and stop worrying what may or may not happen because it will just keep getting you down and eventually come between you two anyway which is clearly the last thing you want judging from what I've read.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): Saying "I love you forever" can be lip service. Watch her actions. How does she behave? How does she treat you? Is she great girlfriend material? Does she make you feel like the luckiest guy in the world?
If she does, her words and actions will be in harmony, and you can worry less that she will return to her ex. If however she says those words yet you find actions that prove otherwise, then you have your answer.
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