A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I found text messages on my husband-to-be's phone implying he cheated on me. He denied it of course. That someone used his phone at work even though one text message is at 12:15am and he's never at work later than 10:30 at the latest. We are getting married in September. I never thought he would ever cheat on me and he looked me straight in the eyes and told me he would never hurt me. The part that hurts the most is that I was nine months pregnant with his son that we named after him when the text messages happened. Should I go with the facts or listen to my heart? Or am I just wanting to believe him so we can keep our family? Can I ever trust him again without thinking the worst?
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at work, cheated on me, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (20 July 2010):
 He cheated, you have the evidence and yeah go ahead and call the girl and ask her.
In light of the fact that the two of you have a child together, you may want to insist that he go to couples counseling with you.
You will undoubtely be upset and angry and rightly so, but it is not a good idea to make an important decision like breaking up until you have worked through your emotions and gotten to the issues. Call off the wedding though, you two are in no way ready to get married and you wouldn't want the embarassment and expense.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010): get the tel number that the text was sent from/to and call the number and talk to the person that answers. Be straight up with the person that answers and tell them that you just need to know. You need to let your man know that you will not be walked over
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A
female
reader, selene_moondrake +, writes (20 July 2010):
I have been married four times and three out of the four cheated. I have found that if you feel it, then 99% of the time it is happening. I am a bold person so If I found the text I would get the number and call the girl myself and ask why she is texting your hubby to be. The one thing I can tell you is once a cheater always a cheater, If you let him do it once and forgive he will feel that you will always forgive him. You can not have a marriage without trust.
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A
female
reader, cherlynne +, writes (20 July 2010):
Usually we have great instincts when it comes to people. Your first instinct is usually correct. If this one time is the only time you thought he was lying to you then I would not worry about it. But if you are usually thinking he's lying, always checking and trying to catch him in a lie then he is probably lying to you. Why were you looking at his messages to begin with?
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A
female
reader, smiley_1  +, writes (20 July 2010):
 Hello,
If a text was sent at that time when he is always at home its suspicious. If he received a text it could have been from a previous conversation.
He's denied that it was him, but if he sent it at that time how can he defend that? I doubt there's any text fairies. I'd proceed with caution.
Wish you luck
;-)
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