A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago over an argument about one of his female friends. Nothing was going on with them but he was lying to me about seeing her and I had had enough. He swore he had no feelings for her. 3 days after we broke up, they began a relationship. It only lasted a week, during which we didn't speak, and it ended the next time I saw him and we got back together.Obviously I was upset as I felt as though he wanted her all along. He says he didn't, it was a rebound thing and because he knew it would hurt me, which makes sense.However they have apparently remained friends, and I'm just wondering, is it irrational that I'm bothered by this? I haven't said anything to him in case I'm over - reacting, but I just wanted to know your input. I'm still hurting over it, even though I have no real right to be, since we weren't together and therefore I had no claim over him. I can't help how I feel though.
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female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Your feelings are completely natural and not an over-reaction.
He knows how you feel about this, or he would not have chosen to engage in a relationship with her while on a break with you "to hurt you". It is obvious that (while he prefers you over her), she has feelings for him. She agreed to be in the relationship, right?
You did not ask for input on how to deal with this, but feel free to stay in touch. That can also be found here.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@Lola1 - they had been friends for about 1, maybe 2 months max. We've been together for a year.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (14 September 2009):
I think that his choice to hurt you by getting involved with this girl shows that he, too, understands how you must be feeling. Let's pretend that he really doesn't have feelings for her. She obviously has them for him and he obviously prefers you over her.However, it is impossible for me to comment about whether or not you would be able to move forward with this frienship of his because I do not know how long you've been together and how long he's been friends with her.
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