A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found a txt on my partner's mobile sent by him to his friend. He said in this txt to pass on a hello to a certain young lady that goes to his friend's gymShould I be worried my partner is wanting to stray? Why is interested or thinking about another woman? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): I agree with CD. And I have to add... no one can answer this question for you, hun. We don't know. You are looking to us to confirm that he 'might' be having an unusual interest in some woman from his gym. Perhaps she is just an acquaintance, a fellow member, someone he has chatted with occasionally. I think the answer lies within the core dynamics of your relationship with him, hun. Sometimes, in relationships, many people deal with fears which cause an over-reaction to something, so seemingly innocent. If you have an inkling that you partner may be interested in another woman, you need to ask yourself, "has he ever done anything in our history to cause me this distress? If he's been loving, caring and committed to you, up to this point, then you really have no cause for panic. Your partner is likely exposed to many people, including other females, in all aspects of his life. She is just one of those females, he's sees occasionally. So ask yourself, if she was 'more' to him and he wanted to have a fling with her, could you really stop it from happening? Realistically, no, you can't. You have to trust him and if he's coming home every day to you, he knows where he wants to be. In a healthy relationship, trust is foundational. When you have fear and mistrust, it throws the whole relationship off balance, because one of the two people is relating to the other with fear, panic and jealousy, in his/her mind. If you want to know for certain, why don't you just ask him. This would mean admittig to him that you checked his phone messages.
Sweety, in a perfect world, we all want a partner who gives only his undivided attention to us. Most men do not do that. Sometimes, they flirt, preen, smile at and talk to other women..for a harmless 'ego boost' more than anything. Women do the exact same thing. But it certainly doesn't mean these people will stray or latch onto the first available, willing body. So don't go into panic mode over this. Take this one day at a time and just keep being a loving, happy, positive person. Get on with living..and enjoy.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (26 March 2007):
 Who says he's interested in another woman? I agree it seems this woman is interested in him but that doesn't mean it's reciprocal. Unfortunately you can't stop him thinking about other women, all men do it, even the ones in totally loving committed relationships but that doesn't mean they're going to cheat on you, just that they enjoy attention from other women or they can appreciate their good points. Without wishing to be rude I think you're overreacting here. If you trust your partner you should know that even if he comes across another woman who finds him attractive, which probably happens more than you're aware, that you can trust him to stay faithful. If you don't have trust your relationship is on very shaky ground!
CD
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