A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been dating with this girl for 8 months from now. At first, things were good. During our 2nd or 3rd month of our relationship, I discovered she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend, which she never mentioned to me about. I found out through their text msg, which I accidentally came across. I asked her who he was; she admitted that he was a guy she had hard time getting rid of. I was like “ok, so tell him you’re dating me now.” She said she will try. 2 more months later during our 5th or 6th month of the relationship. One night she said she is going to this late night gym class, I felt something was weird. I decided to go to that gym, and waited by the parking lot. As she was coming out, a guy was with her, they hugged and kissed (lip to lip) goodbye. At that point, I was so furious; I got out from my car started running towards them, she was in shock. She confessed to me that he is the guy who she trys to get rid of. I told her I want to break up, she cried and cried saying she made a mistake and realized how much she likes me. As a result, we went back together again. She said she would change her number, which she did. I was slowly regaining her trust back, but little did I know she started texting with this guy again last week. I confronted her, she ensured me not to worry about anything. Its just the guy called her at work, and was worried about what’s going on, why he couldn’t get a hold of her. She told him the new number, now I believe the guy is still trying to go after her. What should I do at this point? I know when we’re together; we can be the sweetest couple ever. I can tell she likes me too. Should I be worried that they might do something again in the near future? Thanks…
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): It's more that she's going after the guy, tell her to delete his number
A
female
reader, e.liz +, writes (19 November 2010):
This sounds like my current relationship and we have been together for 4 plus years... Let me tell you as a female, I did cheat with my X several times and it wasn't until I got caught that I admitted to maybe half of the true story. My X didn't knmow of my new man and I never told him, didn't feel the need to if I was getting what I wanted. This has always been a black cloud in our relationship. Just know one thing, obviously if she WANTED to stop seeing him she WOULD! She obviously thinks you will contiue to stick around since it happened more than once. Take this from a girl that went though this....YES she will continue this! And if not with him, in the future since you let it go It will just happen with some other guy "who won't leave her alone" --same Ol' line many of us use. GOOD LUCK.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): You bet your ass she will. Once a cheater always a cheater. She lied to you how many times?? She's probably texting him now as your reading this. You need to dump her. It will be hard and your going to want to go back. But don't. Don't ever talk to her again. I know easy to say.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): Hi,I have to say from experience that you cannot have a relationship without two things - trust and respect. I have been in the same place as you and still am in a way. I too have been seeing someone for 8 months and they have continued to communicate with 3 of their ex's from the past 3 years (she is a divorcee as I am). I discovered her on an internet dating site when we were supposed to be a couple and had numerous excuses such as 'helping a girlfriend to search' and 'showing her how to get on the site'....as if! I live some 10 miles from her so when she cancels an evening for us I get suspicious and I know that there are still ex's and new men from her being on the dating site in the frame. She promised me I was the one and made up to me but I still feel betrayed. Sexually, we are amazingly compatible but I have decided not to let this drive the whole relationship and have put my protective barriers in play - have fun while it lasts but do not waste energy trying to catch her out, if she is going to cheat there is nothing you can do to stop her so protect yourself. If you don't trust her, then make the most of the times you are with her, have safe sex and protect your heart. If she is doing this to you now, she will do it once you live together and if you marry....once a cheater always a cheater.
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