A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I havent heard from my girlfriend for almost a week when we usually talk every night. The only thing i know of what is going on is that her family member at the beginning of the week said that she left her phone at her house after watching her kids and ran off with a male friend who i have never heard of from her until this call. I know a lot of her friends are guys but its odd that she hasn't called, left her precious phone, and hasn't responded back. Im starting to wonder if that is still valid tho, ive never seen her without her phone for longer then a day or two. I have left a couple messages through the week asking for her to call me back when she gets her phone if she doesn't have it at the time of the message.This is the closest to a working relationship ive had and ive only been hurt,used, and cheated on in the past. Things outside of my control always screw me over with women, be it another man, or accidents. I thought this relationship would be different she said she would not hurt me but its looking like she may.Should i be worried?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): sorry to tell you this but yea. it sounds like you better back up before you get your feelings hurt. she's playing the field and it seems like she was really into you if you guys talked everyday but she may have met the next victim and has to woo him the way that she did you. she has to give him her uninvited attention. i know how you feel, it sounds like you really have strong feelings but you have to protect them in everyway. the next time you talk to her, tell her how you feel when she did that and then give yourself time and space to put your fellings back in check. meaning back down a little. never show someone you're weak. they will take advantage. let her know that if anything like this happens again you're gone. you don't have time for games. life is too short to waste it on bs!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthat's my problem i date ones other then my first sorta gf(learned my lesson their) that seem to want to stick around this one had been hurt my typical guys mentally and physically like inches from death in one case, all the time and REALLY liked me till now, she called or i did every night almost. That's why im confused, she made plans for us for next year, thats how long she planned ahead and how much she liked me and my mother talked to her like 5 days ago more recent then i have and she seemed fine im confused....
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (9 September 2009):
 After your follow-up I have to make a comment here.
If you've had this many cheaters in your relationships, maybe you ought to start defining your boundaries, and refining who it is you want to date.
If you're getting this kind of pattern, maybe its time to start looking for girls that are a little less flighty, less arrogant, or more conservative.
I don't know what her personality is, but you need to gauge your girlfriend's character more carefully before you get serious.
If she's got no self-esteem or she has issues with commitment and so forth, then maybe its best to treat them as flings and search for women that are more serious than playful.
Basically it seems to me that you're attracted to girls that like to play rather than stay. Try and look for the ones that stay. They may seem boring at the outset, but believe me its less drama and more stable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionlol that wasn't what i was hoping to hear, but i just have a bad feeling because the last time we talked it ended on a bad note and she needed to get off the phone and because of this i didn't get to actually talk until things got better. Since then i haven't been able to reach her and she ran off with a guy friend and if i find out she cheated on me or something I will be furious and i don't get mad easy either, she would be the 4th person to do this to me and im getting sick of it because I feel like im doomed to never actually find someone who cares. IT ALWAYS ENDS BAD WITH ME, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO IT IS.....im sick of it....=(
Thanks guys, but if she did screw around i wont take her back ive done that once before and things just got worse. I hope u guys are wrong actually no offense lol but with my record you are probably right.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (8 September 2009):
I don't mean to disappoint you, but yes, you have a right to be worried. I think you should stop trying to contact her and wait for her to call you back. If you stop trying, she'll more than likely take the initiative to call you. Honestly, if I forgot my phone somewhere, even after a few hours, I would try to look up my phone records online and find my boyfriend's phone number that way I can call him from another phone and tell him that I left my phone somewhere.
If she's trying to breakup with you by just blowing you off, then she's really not a good person. That's a majorly screwed up way to break up with someone. If she's just being a flake, then that's her problem and she should learn to communicate better.
So for now, try your best not to worry about it. Keep yourself busy and hang out with your friends. If you hear from her, hear out her lame excuse and decide whether or not you want to believe it. Or if you don't hear from her again, that's your answer and you can move on from there.
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (8 September 2009):
It doesn't look good when a girlfriend suddenly goes no-contact with you. Her family member could be covering for her. Then again, no one including you knows why she's disappeared.
Some women do that and then later on come back and apologize profusely, only for you to find out later that they had some sort of weird thing going on.
I'd say maybe just let her alone. If she's got a problem with you, and doesn't even have the courage to contact you, then its her bad not yours.
On the other hand, her family member may be worried about her too.
I'd give it a few more days, contact the family member and ask them if she's alive. If she is, just leave a message for her and say its over. Then leave her alone.
If she wants you back, she'll find a way to make it up to you, and by then you might be willing to give her another chance. Maybe not. Take it slow and be cautious.
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