A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi my girlfriend of 7 years this year joined a gym and for for a while I thought she fancied a lad but I thought maybe - maybe not so this month I notice she's got this lads name in her phone she said he give it her and she forgot she had it . Again I thought ok they are friends then I noticed that she was on wattsapp every night after I've gone bed ( early cause I start at 2am) then when I asked her she would say " not been in it " then I know this wrong I checked her phone they had been talking about the gym nothing else then I was messing around 1 night and asked her if she had this lads number she said yeah so she deleted the number I was ok then a few days later get phone was going off every 5 seconds and still late nights on wattsapp then a few nights ago she fell asleep and her phone was going off late ( not normal ) and it was this lad but she changed is name from is name to a girls name but is picture was still this lad and again no kisses or flirts it was hey u not coming in gym or I'm hitting the gym tomorrow you going in or not . To me harmless texts and can't think y she as changed is name in her phone Do u think I should worry ? Do u think there could be something going on? A few facts my girl only gos into the gym at dinner till 3 yea I take her or pick her up She never sees her friends ( not my fault) she says she can't be bothered with any of themI'm home from dinner qnd doesn't go out at night She as our little lad in the morning till he gos school at dinner So if she was seeing him it can't be sex right?
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): Maybe he is just a friend, but if this is the case she should be ok with you meeting him and be open about them being in communication, not hiding it.
Can she set up a time for the three (or 4 if he has a girlfriend) to get some coffee or something so that you can meet and talk with him? You can see how they act together also and verify that they are "just friends" or if either has interest in the other.
She also will need to set some boundaries on this friendship for appropriateness that you can both agree on.
Some ideas:
-He should not be calling all hours of the night, and they should not spend long periods of time texting back & forth.
-No discussions about your relationship or any other intimate topics of course.
-Everything should be in the open, so no more hiding his number from you under another name (NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR ANY REASON) or hiding any meetings/conversations, etc.
-All of that should be open to you and you should be able to see all texts/emails if you so choose.
-No meeting up just the two of them outside the gym.
I hope all is on the up & up. 7 years is a long time, maybe think about talking about your own futures as well. Is this relationship going any further? Are you both on the same page there? what do you want w/her in the long term and vice versa?
Best of luck to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2014): Maybe she just thinks you're going to have a bad reaction to her keeping a guy as a friend - even though they talk innocently enough. It's not good to be checking her phone, that's already showing signs there's issues. Be polite and calm and say if she wants to hang with friends than she can, if that guy is a friend then that's cool but she needs to be honest because hiding it makes it suspicious. Maybe she just doesn't get how to have a male friend because she's stopped seeing ALL friends.Encourage her to socialise with people, but let her know she needs to be honest about who they are otherwise it's going to result in you losing trust in her.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2014): Yes, changing his name to a grirl's' name is ridiculously suspicous! You should get his number from her phone and ring him, tell him she has a boyfreind because she's probably not told him
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2014): maybe she just likes him as a friend and doesn't want to give up a friend,maybe she is lonely if her other friends don't see her very often but she knows you are suspicious so she decided to pretend she dosent talk to him any more and stored him as a girls name that way she gets to keep her friend without hurting your feelings-I know what it looks like but I've done similar things.Then again I can really understand you being suspicious-it wasn't a wise thing for her to do.
...............................
|
