A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i have a serious problem, that has been bothering me for a long time now.My fiance and i are super close and always have been since we met.One of the most beautiful things that i have found about us, is the simplicity and groundedness of our relationship.He is a simple man, although he has a very good job and has always had plenty of money in the past.He loves nice things and loves to spoil me, but he isn't obssessed by money, nor has he ever placed money before me.My issue is that he is about to launch something huge, business wise and when i say huge, i mean huge!We are all sure it will take off and when it does, it'll be a true blessing for him.Happy days for us, as he himself has said.Of course i want this for him, as he thoroughly deserves it and he has worked hard for this for approx 5 years, but i cannot help but wonder if this will change the beautiful relationship that we've created together.I have heard of so many good relationships that went sour, simply because one party within that relationship, came into money and it got to their head.My fiance tells me daily, that he is fully committed to me and he wishes for us to marry soon, to the point that he gets worried, when i don't get the ball rolling, as he works daily and i only work part-time these days.I have vowed to get our wedding plans started, but he says he doesn't see me doing what i say i will, although he isn't upset and he said he'd like to assist also and make it a joint effort, as we both love doing things together, particularly if i am unable to organise everything alone.I love the way we currently are, although i know that more money will bring more choice and less stress work wise, but still, i cannot help but worry about how this will change him and us and our future together.If anybody has an opinion to share, i would like to hear.Thank you in advance!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2015): Be very careful not to spoil his and yours success,this is an ideal time to grow together and make dreams come true.Money is not bad, it is how you use it, and who uses it that decides a good or bad life.Please be positive and stop worrying that the devil is coming between you, because it can live in 'poverty'.If the success is huge, then have huge dreams together, make a huge family, that you can afford to keep, make a huge difference to other's lives.Go with the flow and choose to be happy, if the future separated you then let it be, live today in the moment and count your blessings. You need to stop trying to control the future outcome and control what you think may happen, this only 'calls fear' and changes the dynamics of a perfectly good solid relationship.Treat yourself to something special like a wedding and celebrate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2015): You are either a worry filled person or a big chicken or you have a history of watching persons change for the worse when money shows up. What's your basis?
As the man, I would be annoyed with all the worry. There are plenty of couples who build a life together and come into money and are just fine! Why do you focus on the bad stories you have heard? I would look at that hard question.
Are you subconsciously delaying the wedding waiting to see what happens? Or do you love the guy for who is and not his prospects? Are you comfortable with money laying around? Does it change you?
I gave my wife an ultimatum when she broke our engagement 3 times. I told her, "If we were not married by December 31, I was going to ask out Margie." We were married 4 months later.
I think you should look at yourself and what your real reservations are. Or are you looking to control the future? Those vows of for better or worse are real and if the love is not strong enough to overcome any fears you have, you may not be in love with the right person.
Hope this helps!
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