A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My new boyfriend of three months is separated after a 20 year marriage ended six months ago. They outgrew each other and there is no love lost for either of them. A divorce and house sale are going through amicably. He rents a flat near his wife and grown up daughter. He sent me a photograph of his family dog in his house and I had a huge wake up call. He goes there to drop off his daughter's overnight bag, when the house is empty, twice a week early after she has stayed at his. I know I have no right to judge as I am dating him. He is loving, attentive and open and wants me to trust and wait for him. He seems calm and grounded while I am freaking out about the fact he lets himself in there and still has a key and many possessions round there. I'm in my 40s and we all have baggage. It just feels very unsettling as I'm single with no ties
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 February 2016):
 Many divorced men would admit they still love their ex wives. That's what I have a problem with. If you are the same way, a divorcee just looking for companionship, vacations and fun together then you are on the same level. To want more than this does not make you a selfish or bad person. I do take marriage vows seriously. To divorce simply because there's no passion is unacceptable to me. It would be hard for me to start a foundation based upon newness, freedom but not steadfastness and the sacredness of a union. I would also stay away from men who say they are not looking for a mother as they have one already. So what am I then, some sexual hideaway to ensure his family goes smooth?
A
female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (27 February 2016):
This is a very difficult situation for you to understand re your bf who has been married for 20 years However there is a matter of TRUST to consider and this is an important factor in a relationship.Do you trust your bf or not-only you can answer this question.As they have a daughter between them there is always going to be contact.So give it time and hopefully all will work out for you .Best wishes NORA B.
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