A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:My boyfriend of 9 months and i usually spend the weekdays together and he stays over at my place and then leaves in the morning to go to his place to get ready for work. on fridays he doesnt come for dinner and goes out for drinks with his friends without telling me and then comes home whatever time to sleep at my place. on saturdays he wakes up early and always tells me he has something to do and ends up spending the whole day away without me with his friends and comes home drunk late to sleep. then sundays he stays with me the whole day because he is hungover and he sleeps all day.Last week he told me that he has a lot of work and wont be staying over with me because he has to work on his home computer probably for the whole week. when i message him he is offish and speaks like he doesnt want to and im bothering him and he has not much to say. when i ask what he is doing he says "nothing" and yet he said he would be working. on the weekend he didnt contact me on friday or saturday.On sunday i asked what was wrong and he said nothing but he told me he didnt do any work at all. i am worried. should i be suspicious that all is not well with us and he is avoiding me or am i just overeacting and overthinking?
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male
reader, furnace +, writes (11 November 2015):
U can't control what happens to u but u can control what u do with it. I think it is time to start throwing spesific questions: "do u still wanna be with me?", "do u love me, I do, u beginning to give me the other impression - should I move on?". If he doesn't pay attention to u just do the same - give him his space as most guys appriciate their space and the longer he deosn't hear from u he's gonna realize that unless he gets back to u he'll probably never hear from u again & for that he might come back then u ask him the questions above again (meaning them) then he'll reciprocate surely then u put everything else in the past & move forwad but heed from the past events... If he doesn't reciprocate or come back then I suggest IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!
A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (10 November 2015):
 There are reasons for you to feel a bit suspicious. Have you confronted that his actions are a bit out of place? Maybe that's a way to go around it to start with, if he starts saying you're paranoid and over thinking, or "crazy" there could be something up he's not telling you.
Or you can act detective, if another week he says he's busy or whatever and doesn't message you or reply bluntly, go over to his and see what's up. You might find your answers, if there's nothing suspicious you could just say you came over to see if everything is ok.
But do confront it one way or another for you to feel at ease
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