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Do older men who are dating have something to prove to themselves?

Tagged as: Dating, Health, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 November 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2015)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Do older men who are dating have something to prove to themselves?

I met a older guy online and he is in his early 50s, where I have just turned 40.

He's played hot and cold from the start. Seemed very interested then disappeared only to return some weeks later.

He seemed very interesed again. To cut a long story short we eventually spent the night together. I found it awkward initiating anything as he's a older guy.

He did however abd I discovered he had quite a small pecker. I actually felt quite sorry for him but didn't say or show it.

He seemed very attentive and I enjoyed the evening despite of his size.

When I left he said 'catch up soon'. I decided to text him in the week to say hi, he did reply but was short and sweet so I got the hint.

He hasn't been in touch since...

I was just wondering if I was just a ego trip for him.

I mean why sleep with someone knowing you can't really satisfy them and then ignore them...

View related questions: older men, text

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (11 November 2015):

boo22 agony auntHi

I'm 50 year old single woman so I have some experience with the 50 plus guys to say the least.

I assume this guy of yours is divorced, this could explain his reticence to get involved.

A few months ago someone I know who got divorced about 5 years ago asked me out to a lavish event and I was thrilled! I'd liked him for years!!

He did the same thing. We had what I thought was a wonderful time. His driver took us home and he held my hand in the back of the car so tenderly I was on cloud nine.

I didn't hear from him again for 10 days.

He took me out once more and this time we kissed for a couple of hours but nothing else. Didn't see him again for 2 weeks!

At least you had sex, even with a small one.

I still see my guy because of work and he's invited me to his 60th birthday at the end of the month

Very strange in my view. I suspect my guy may be gay even though he has three kids and tons of grandchildren.

Some people have sex for other reasons than you and me.What those reasons are... there are some things in life you can't know and maybe never will

On well....next!! x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015):

As most older people become who they are after years of conditioning, perhaps the reason he behaves in such a way has little to do with his age, but more so him as a person. Hence, he is in his early 50's an not settled down yet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015):

Regardless of his motives, blowing hit and cold from the start is not a good sign. And yes, he is probably on an ego trip thinking he can pull a younger woman. If you hear from him again, which you may well do, don't touch him with a barge pole. It seems he has used you for casual sex. And as you are not really that bothered about him - don't give him the satisfaction of another 'meet up'.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 November 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think it has less to do with the size of his penis and more to do with his ego. He may NOT even be looking for anything serious. Just to get easy sex. and the Internet dating sites can provide that in spades.

The fact that SO many women will agree with casual sex these days, some act like a "kid in a candy store". It's a notch in the bed post and off to the next.

He saw you as a casual hook up, whether he could satisfy you longterm or not, why care? He had without doubt already decided that it would be a "wham bam thank you ma'am and on to the next".

But I do think he hurt YOUR ego in the process. Because he feigned interest till he got sex, then moved on to ignore you. That can't feel very nice. No matter age. My guess is you expected more from a man in his 50's. But OP here is the silver lining.... YOU are not having to see him again, have mediocre sex with him again.. you can FREELY block his number and move on.

My advice? If you are looking for a serious partner, don't ignore flags. If he blows hot and cold from the start, take that as a red flag. And there is a difference between meeting up with someone and "dating" someone exclusively. Which means that you might (old fashioned as it sounds) want to wait with the sex till he is your actual BF. Till you know he is someone you want to date.

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