A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I separated 3 months ago. He thinks I cheated on him, which I did not. And this is still something we are trying to work through. We have some mutual friends and it has been kind of awkward trying to remain friends with them. And he says I'm over reacting at the fact that I feel like everyone has dropped me.There is this one girl who is a supposed mutual friend which I met through my husband. He DJ's and she used to be the bartender on one of his nights, although she no longer is. When I first met her, I did not like her, I admit I was a bit jealous because it seemed like there was a connection between the two of them which I was not comfortable with. But despite how I felt I got to know her and actually started to like her. She met a guy and the 4 of us would hangout. (all this happening in a time period of within 3yrs) Well she and her boyfriend recently broke up around the same time my husband and I separated. I know that she and my husband have hung out and they talk still. And I feel like they are hiding something. I try to talk to her now and she won’t talk to me, barely if she does. I ask him and he says she's just really busy etc... But yet she seems to have time to talk and hang out with him (on at least 3 occasions that I know of). My question is... my husband and I might be trying to work things out (it’s kind of up in the air at the moment). But with the info I have given, is there a reason for me to be suspicious of them two? I have a gut feeling there is something going on there. She has posted pics on her facebook with the two of them, nothing bad, but just the two of them posing hugging for a picture. They talk and text. And he has told me of at least 3 different times they have hung out. And they never really hung out alone, without me before.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2012): She is definitely after him and she had her eye on him since they met probably. You're not overeacting. If you want your husband back spend more time with him and talk with him to let him you didn't cheat on him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2012): Sounds fishy, even if your husband doesn't realise it, she's definately staking a claim.
She clearly thinks your the bad guy and is trying to alienate you. As you and your Ex have split its up to him if he persues her though,its been 3 months, so if you want to sort things out with him I would move fast to see if there's a chance.
If he initially accused you of cheating he must have trust issues with you, so it may not be possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2012): I would say you have the gut instinct and better read. From where I stand and what I read- outside threats and friendships such as this one are a common threat to a marriage.The contact should have been severed in my books. Too familiar with such individuals run the risk of acting on mutual attraction.Hire a detective. Just know that doing so, you may find out with 100% surety and then do you think you can work out your marriage?As it stands, your Husband is not being honest about you or her. IF something is going on- its best to tell you and he has to chose what matters or whom matters more to him.I'm thinking they are having some fun and he is playing you both. You need to figure out what you will do from her on out. Will you want to forgive him for this 'time out' from your marriage while he acts on his lust? What of the trust?Forgiveness, healing, and repairing trust from such an event in your marriage takes years.He's a fool.Please seek individual counselling to cope and get yourself straight and strong for what lies ahead.
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