A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My question is pretty straight forward (In my opinion anyway). I have been dating someone for a little over a year now, he's my longest relationship and I his. I love him with all my heart. We are Seniors in high school this year and college has been the only thing everyone has been talking about, teachers, parents, friends, etc. Well, the more I think about it the more I wonder: Should I be single going into college? A part of me wants to try to stay with him. But another part of me doesn't want to jump into anything and regret a few years later. He wants to go to a college on the other side of the state and I want to go to a college that's just an hour away. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and even brought it up to him. He thinks we can make, but I'm just not so sure. What do you think? Should we be single going into college? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all, all of your answers really helped a lot. I think I'll just enjoy my year this year, see what happens, and not worry about it until we get accepted into colleges. Thank you all so much. :)
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (7 October 2013):
 My current relationship is the result of a successful Long Distance Relationship. The fact that I was successful does not guarantee that anyone else will be. In fact there are many differences between my situation and yours. One major difference is the 25+ years that have passed in the mean time. For example we communicated by written mail. We didn't even have instantaneous e-mail, let alone video chatting. One thing I did have that you don't is a firm commitment to the other person. You are only committed with a part of you. That is natural at your age I was at least 2 years older than you are now and had much more experience, including long distance experience.
I'll give you the advice you should have been given a year ago and you decide how it applies now. When you are young date lots of people. Meet different kinds of guys and get to know them. Avoid exclusive dating because it limits the people you can meet. This way when you are ready to make a permanent commitment you will know much better what it is you want. In general you should not date exclusively until you are ready to make a permanent commitment (marriage usually). Of course this kind of dating (multiple partners) precludes sex for safety reasons (emotional as well as health).
So if you are thinking you want to be single so you can meet and get to know other people, and other kinds of people. That is evidence to me that you are not ready to be in an exclusive relationship. You could not get married now with out risking regrets that you settled too soon.
You may reject this advice because you want some of the benefits of an exclusive relationship. Sex, or that feeling of ownership, or just the security that you know that you will have a date for prom. You are buying those benefits with false coin. You are acting committed while still in your heart you are wanting to explore. His feelings are probably much the same.
That was probably a lot more answer than you wanted but if you are to make an important decision you should get as much information as possible.
FA
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (7 October 2013):
 It varies by person and by couple, there is no rule whether you should be single or not. The best advice is just to see how it goes - wait until you are both accepted into your colleges (you still dont know where you will go, you might want to go somewhere but anything could happen between now and then and you might end up somewhere else).
Once you are both into your colleges take it from there - you could easily try seeing each other on weekends and see how it goes. I was in a relationship when I went to University aged 18, I'd been with him a year and loved him to bits. We broke up about 2 or 3 months into me being at University because I wanted to have fun and be single. Regretted that decision every day for about 5 years.
So you just dont know how you will feel once you get to college - it might make your relationship stronger, or you might realise you hate LDR's and want to be single for a while. You might regret breaking up with him, you might not.
Its simply too soon to tell - enjoy what you have now, dont worry about college yet and cross that bridge when you come to it. Breaking up now would be foolish, if you love each other you could well make it through college and beyond, so give it a chance and see what happens. If when you get to college you decide to be single, that's fine - but you will only know once you get there, not before.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (7 October 2013):
 I think you should see what colleges you end up going to, instead of judy guessing on it. Make the decision when you reach the time of having to make it. Its too early now. You might even break up for other reasons by the time to go to college. Just see what happens. But if you.actually love him you will want to be with him. So see how you feel when you come down to it. Cross that bridge when you get there, not sooner.
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