A
female
age
41-50,
*tina356
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. He is really sweet and absolutely wonderful to me. But he keeps telling me he's confused about his life. He was married for 15 years and it ended last year. She was well off financially so he never worried about finances when they were together. Now he does. That was his second marriage. He told me after his wife left, he was not upset at all. But he met another woman and was completely taken by her after his wife left. She was exciting and fun, but she had severe depression issues, so he ended it with her as well. He told me that he still thinks about her and wonders why she affected him more than his wife leaving. He says he doesn't want her back at all. But is just concerned how she is. It's been 9 months since they broke up. Now he has me who is sane, but I am not financially well off. He tells me he likes me, but is not in love with me. He says he just can't feel that way after all he's been through right now. Should I be patient? A good man is hard to find and he really treats me well. I have tried to give him space to figure it out and he gets really upset. He doesn't want me to leave his side. But then he shuts down emotionally. What should I do?
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male
reader, ashaw +, writes (27 September 2010):
I don't think it's fair for him to keep you "on hold" without any commitment on his part. I think you should give him a little more room to figure things out. If he gets upset, it had better not be with you. HE needs to decide if HE wants to commit or not. If he does get upset with you (as opposed to upset with himself, or the confusion) I would see that as a warning sign, and take a hike.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Oh this is a really hard situation, i guess it is a good thing that he is being open and honest with you about his feelings, but he hasnt really taken your feelings in to concideration, he obviously still holds some feelings for his ex and this is obviously messing with his head, especially with having a broken marriage as well to deal with it seems his head is all over the place. I honestly think that he should be on his own for a while to clear his head and to find what he wants as he is obviously not in a happy place and am sure that this has nothing to do with you and i guess there aint anything you can do, i think for the moment maybe be there for him as a pure platonic friend for the minute until he decides what he wants, good luck
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