A
male
age
41-50,
*rew79
writes:My ex girlfriend of a year broke up with me about a month and a half ago. We were great together and had a lot in common. It wasn't a bad breakup and she said that she needed time to work on herself and I needed the same. About two weeks after the breakup, we started talking again and talked about getting married one day. Then she stopped calling again and its been about a month. I've left her alone this entire time and don't want to bother her even though I want to call her every second of the day. The thing is, we work together and have to see each other almost every day. Yesterday we talked for a few minutes. I didnt bother her about getting back together. I told i have been doing good and she said the same. I told her my aunt died last week and she told me to call her if i needed to talk. She asked me if i had a girlfriend yet and i said no. Then she told me not to wait for her and that we could still hang out as friends. I guess I keep trying to look for signs. Like the fact that she always brings up all the great times we shared together. I don't know what to do. I try to just get over it but find myself thinking of ways to get her back. I do good until I have to see her. Any advice? Should I be patient and be a friend hoping for the best or just focus on moving on. I forgot to mention that we did break up about 7 months ago for two months but got back together. At that time she said she made a mistake by leaving me and came back. I keep hoping she will do that again. Thanks
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female
reader, Lo93  +, writes (28 August 2009):
 Hey ! I guess you should move on with your life ! I mean like she made it clear that she wants you guys to be only friends! so yea.. I know it may be harsh .. I mean what if you moved on and had a girl friend ?! wouldn't she get jealous? Even though she left you that doesn't mean she doesn't have anything for you =) maybe that would make her feel more willing to have you back !but overall you should do what you feel is right ! if you want to move on. just move on and if you feel you should give it another try just wait a lil bit longer ;)hope everything works out here !
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (28 August 2009):
 She can't commit to you. Part of her loves being with you, but I think she's got doubts that this is a lifetime gig.Unfortunately women can be very picky about who they consider to be long term material. A lot of times, they pick right. A lot of times, they pick wrong.The best thing you can do is move on with your life. At least you have only dated for a short period of time.But if you had years and years of love and commitment in the relationship and she broke it off, came back and left again, I'd say you would need a lot of time to both get over it and reconsider taking her back.Here's the upshot. She told you not to wait for her. If its that definitive, as in literally don't wait for her, then she's pretty clear.If she said something like she can't make you wait for her, as in its not fair, then maybe she's thinking about it but for sure, she can't complain if you go out and find someone else.All of this leads to one logical conclusion: Invest your emotional time and energy in someone who is thrilled to be with you instead of someone who has enough doubts to fill an auditorium.
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