A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband's best friend (who was also married) and I had an affair over the summer. This was not supposed to be anything more than a physical thing. It very quickly progressed to a much more emotional relationship than either of us expected. We were talking on the phone all day, making excuses to leave home and meet each other. He told me that he was falling in love with me. I asked that he not leave his family but I left my husband. Our affair ended abruptly when his wife found out. We stopped speaking entirely. I was devastated. After 3 months I was and am still not over it. I took my husband or rather he took me back and we began to repair our marriage. Last week, the man I had the affair with called me. Only to say that he needed to talk to me and that he had left his wife some time ago. I met him to talk the next day and left my husband again. I know that my marriage is over now, for good. I am, without a shadow of a doubt, in love with this man. I am just terrified that he is going to go back to his wife again. He has told her that we are together and she has moved on and seeing someone else also. Am I just being paranoid from before or should I be more cautious with my feelings this time around?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf you love something set it free, if it comes back it was always yours, if not then it was never yours to begin with. I set him free and bowed out gracefully. We are now moving in together and spending time helping our 5 (2 of mine and 3 of his) children adjust to our relationship. His ex is happy for him and in a relationship of her own as is my ex. We are all happier than we have ever been. (ESPECIALLY ME)
A
female
reader, SallySoMe  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 If only we had the proverbial crystal ball or life manual to reference that tells what twists and turns our lives will take...While some may criticise, I'm of the opinion that people in general are not inherently so evil that hours are spent planning on when and where they will jump their best friend's wife or husband's best friend. More often than not, the close time spent in each other's company results in bonding were family friends get to know and appreciate each other much better. So he didnt call you for 3 agonising months. Undertandable under the circumstances considering that he had his own issues to sort out. Maybe it took longer than he expected, maybe it was too complicated to end quickly. He's come to you now has'nt he rather than grabbing his freedom and serial-dating. That should mean something.Summon the courage to take your chance and see were this goes. The option to run back to the refuge of a husband you don't love is no longer viable is it? The only way is forward....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): Nevermind......he did exactly what he swore he wouldn't. He's back with her.
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