A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone, so ill be 16 in 15 days and the guy im dating is 19. he super sweet and tells me im amazing and beautiful and he could never ask for more. i like him a lot.. but heres the problem. my ex that i dated for 7 months and was crazy in love with is coming back to jersey for a visit. (he moved to virginia about 3 months ago) and hes coming over to see me. we are most likely going to have sex. we still like eachother a lot and we would still be together if he still lived here. i told the guy im dating that my ex will be sleeping over and he got mad so i said we were over because i was going to hang out with him anyway. and he completely broke down. he was crying and calling and texting me saying things like "baby you cant leave me please i love you so much youre my life i would do anything for you! i dont care if he sleeps over! really its fine! i trust you and i love you and im nothing without you!" so i said i would take him back. my ex is still sleeping over and he knows that but i feel horrible. me and him spent an amazing night together last night and he really is a great guy... hes so sweet to me. he said "baby... i trust you.. i dont trust him... but if anything happens.. please tell me. even if it isnt your fault". i dont know what to do. i dont really want to lose him but i will never pass up seeing my ex again. we arent in love anymore but we still have a lot of passion for eachother... i know its horrible but it had crossed my mind to jus not tell my guy that i hooked up with my ex but i know thats wrong. i have to tell him because it is definately going to happen. im really scared though because of his break down.... he always says he will not be able to go on without me. he threatens all the time that he will isolate himself from the world and makes me promise to never leave him. it will kill him to know i had sex with my ex. what do i do? thank you for your help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): You need to be honest with yourself. There's right and there's wrong.
Right now, your choices are selfish and are hurting other people.
You can't have it both ways, so you need to pick one - the current bf or the ex.
I don't mean to insult you, but right now you're being a jerk. Unless you want that reputation to follow you forever, you need to make a choice and change what you're doing.
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