A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just want a LIFE!! I'm so sick of living in this rut which is such a pathetic excuse for one, but I feel so trapped. I'm so embarrassed, I feel like such a loser. My life sucks!! I've never had a career, just crummy jobs, and I'm trapped in a town with nothing to offer me. I'm so sick of being bored, broke, and lonely and lying awake at night wondering what's gonna happen to me. I don't date, there are no decent guys where I live. I don't travel or even get out of the house. I barely have a job... I have this temp job reading essays, but not a career and I don't earn enough to escape this filthy mess. I don't have anything I do for fun. I play the guitar but I don't have music in my life. I just sit in my boring room and play scales. I barely have any friends. I don't go to uni or grad school. I'm so embarrassed about this and feel like a loser, but I'm still living with my mom and brother. It's humiliating! I feel so bad about myself. I want to change all this. I want a LIFE.I would like to change this. I would like to have a career, a boyfriend, a life, live in a town I love, travel, be able to realize my passions, and have music in my life. I play the guitar, and I love horses.I realize that I'm not getting any younger and that my life is gonna pass me by, but I am so scared.I worked my way through college and paid my tuition out of my own money, and my college years were hard. My mom had cancer and my parents were going through an ugly divorce and so college was on me. I worked 50 hours a week, at a Belk store and tutoring trig at my college, to pay for my tuition. I missed out on the stuff all the other kids got to do, like church youth groups and singing in the choir, and I had to quit the equestrian club. I didn't date or have a fun social life. I'm not bitter about it, I'm just saying that I deserve good things. Sometimes I feel like I don't have any control over my life... that there's this destiny laid upon me that I'm gonna fail and that I can't change my life at all!I graduated from college years ago but I've had a series of crummy jobs. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, or how to get it, and I felt so lost. I decided that I wanted to teach English abroad. So I scraped up enough $$$ (I risked my life to get the $$$, btw), took a Tefl course, and now I'm certified to teach EFL. I would like to teach English abroad, go abroad and start a new life. The problem is, even if I fix a job up, how am I gonna get the $$$ I need? To go to a new country and start a new life, requires a substantial amount of money.People tell me that I have everything. I speak fluent Spanish and English, and in addition to Spanish I speak Italian, French, and a tiny bit of a few other languages and I play a couple instruments. I see people who didn't finish high school who are multimillionaires... I want to be successful but it seems like finding the key to success is like finding a haystack needle. I feel like I just have bad luck!I would like to go overseas and teach English but $$$ is standing in the way.... I clarify that I'm NOT looking for handouts or anything... just ideas. I'm not good at solving problems. I thought I'd be able to work, and save the money. But I've been substitute teaching and that doesn't pay enough to survive, let alone save $$$. I'm so sick of this... I have all these dreams and money is standing in the way. I feel so overwhelmed by how much of my life I've wasted. I don't want it to pass me by... am I just stuck?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2010): I can relate to you, I feel like that alot. At one point in my life I was actually becoming happy. But circumstances changed and it seems nearly impossible to get to that point again. I wish we could chat on here.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): Most people teaching EFL abroad start in Korea, where I am now. You don't need a bunch of money saved up. They will pay for your round trip ticket, and apartment. You are all set up when you get here.
So come to Korea, there's lots of others here just like you, and start your EFL career without any risk. Just do a little research about the school that you are getting involved with and you're good to go.
It is very easy to get a job here. Especially since you are female. Do it.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 March 2010):
You're only "qualified" to do what you've made yourself qualified to do. You seem too confined, like you can only do one thing. You can do something relating to it, there are jobs out there that you probably haven't heard of that have great opportunities. You can control your life, your life doesn't have to control you unless you let it, which you are. What does not being attracted to guys from your culture have anything to do with your love life? It is America and you're free to date whoever you want...
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (28 March 2010):
 There are always opportunities in life and you only have to watch out for them.Make use of your talents.
Maybe , you should move out of your comfort zone and venture outside of it to discover your potentials.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): From original poster... Pinktopaz, I really appreciate that you've helped me... but what I meant to say is that I'm not qualified to do anything but teach EFL. I'd like to date and have a bf, but I"m not attracted to guys from my culture.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): "Being stuck" sucks but trust me you just have to go for it! Even before u move away...start getting things going NOW, if you want to make me friends and start dating. Join clubs and groups in your area, u like music so thats prob a starting point. But don't limit yourself, join things u would never consider...and take a few risks. Also consider dating sites/speed dating.
If you want to boost ur career...sit down and research what u want to do...definately abroad or something interesting at home? List all the things that u need to do to get that dream jobs, what will make u stand out? And start doing those things. Make contacts in the fields your interested in. Do u need further qualifications? If $$$ is an issue...then maybe start a saturday job for a few months?
MAKE IT HAPPEN...take u first step right now!....be enthusiastic and just go for...you have nothing to loose but so much to gain!
Wishing u all the luck in the world...!
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (28 March 2010):
Believe it or not, getting up and moving to where you want and doing what YOU want to do isn't that hard. I know there's money involved, but sometimes you need to do small steps to get you to where you need to be.
I've lived in a city much like what you described so I know how that feels. But before jumping off to another country, start by looking in another city (probably larger) where you can find more opportunity. I moved to a much larger city and both some of my friends and I have had way more opportunities come to us than had we waited around in our hometown. Just be positive and look and see what you can find, it can definitely be your ticket to what you want to do. Also, don't be afraid to expand your horizons. A lot of people are held back only by themselves because they underestimate themselves. If you think something is unobtainable or out of reach go for it anyway, at least you tried! Just stay positive and focused and you'll be amazed at the outcome.
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