A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For two years, I've been seeing a guy, X for the past two years and I had doubts and doubts, contemplated leaving him time and time again. But, I admit I have strong feelings for him and it seems that lately, it's getting more serious...But, there are two other great guys (Y and Z) I know who are my friends and both of them want me as a girlfriend. Neither one of them knows about X because honestly, he didn't seem serious and so, I didn't think I could call him a boyfriend anyway. Now, these guys (Y and Z) are great! Y and I can laugh all day and have similar views on a lot of things. He's so sweet and gentlemanly I can hardly bear it...but, I feel almost no chemistry. I have kissed him before and it was nice But... Z , I have never kissed. But, we have a lot in common too. We once spent 16 hours talking non-stop. He is not a citizen of my country and doesn't have a work permit etc. But, the one night I saw him, I felt so much chemistry it was scary! He hugged me and I never wanted him to let go. He later told me he had felt the same... Z and Y are in their twenties. X is 35.With X , I honestly think I love him. Yet, he doesn't see marriage and kids as I do...he thinks he'd be trapped by both. He's older than me which means that idea has a huge chance of not changing. He can be difficult but so, so sweet I melt. He has HURT me like hell in the past. Little by little, X is starting to love/trust me more-I see that. But I worry about waiting for something he can never give me. Why why why can't I just fall in love with one of these other nice men I know? Why is it that the one you love/want is the one who has the most potential of letting you down/breaking your heart?
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female
reader, The.path.I.have.chosen.is.my.burden.  +, writes (8 April 2012):
If you do not have the same values and viewpoints on importanrt things such as marraige and children adn you want both honestly I dont think that it will work. If he is afraid to even agree to marry you because he will be trapped then keep looking. You deserve and need someone who shares the same values as you someone who won't be afraid to say that "I love this woman and I want her as mine and mine alone". After 2 years he should have some idea of how long he wants to be with you, and if that is forever then marriage shouldn't be something taht confines or defines him but rather completes him with the promise of his soul mate. Besides your young, far too young to be so committed in a relationship you arent sure about.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2012): Why not give yourself time to be single. Your age says 18-21 so marriage, kids etc... are not things that need to be in your immediate future just enjoy the fun a relationship brings. If this guy, X, is not for you then there is no need to hang on. You've been with him for two years and in that time you may have changed and just feel you want something else from a partner.
Because you have feelings for someone else too is a big reason to get out of the relationship. But don't feel the need to jump straight into another one with either of the other guys. Just have time to get to know what you want and you can be a single woman, enjoying dates with guys without misleading someone else.
Good luck x
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