A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm concerned my fiance is travelling every other weekend for a few days without me. I want to go and he tells me to pay my way. If i try to go ahead with that plan, he just takes off without me. I bought him something for over 700 bucks the other day and he barely spends on me. I caught him trying to cheat a few years ago when his phone had notifications over dinner. There are too many articles about giving partners the opportunity to travel solo. I think this is for normal people that go once or twice a year solo. He spent at least 30 000 last year on travel. Went to 40 countries. He cant pay for a house down payment, so its on my head. I want to travel the world too but dont have that kind of money and now I dont want to go with someone who's been everywhere. Are we setting ourselves up for a divorce before we marry? His parents split because his dad went to thailand and slept with prostitutes. My fiance travels to eastern europe, dubai, malaysia and asia pacific type places. He went to 2 proposed honeymoon destinations and now he wants to go to the next place i decided to have the honeymoon at.Its like every time i want to go somewhere, he wants to go there first. i think he has serious issues and i dont like being alone every other weekend. I'm putting this question out there because other girls probably have their man justifying their holidays by citing articles that say its ok to travel solo. Again, those articles are talking about people that travel solo once a year or something. my man will only do a cheap interstate holiday with me...He works full time. i work part time. He comes from a background where the girl should never spend. id love to just go on his holiday and pay my way but obviously that's just an option he gives me moments before he leaves so i dont have time to book flights. what do i do? Last year he didn't see me on my birthday and left that weekend on a holiday!!!!!!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 February 2017):
 What do you do? Run and never look back. He has no interest in travelling with you, he likes his life just as it is, he has a part time girlfriend and also gets to travel alone checking out new places and people. I could almost bet he has already cheated several times. Honestly you deserve so much better than the way this man is treating you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 February 2017):
 Why spend $700 on him if he doesn't do that for you? And don't say because I love him and want to spoil him because you can spend a LOT less and still spoil him.
And never EVER buy a present with strings attached, such as if I give you this I expect something in return or equal value. (which really isn't UNREASONABLE) but not what giving a present is about. Thus my question... WHY spend $700?
Now back to the question, IS IT OK for my fiance to be traveling every other weekend for a few days without me?
Honestly? If that was me I'd say no. The fact that he tells you that you can go IF you pay, it's fair enough, but then he makes his own arrangements without you and don't give you time to get a ticket - THAT is a HUGE red flag to me.
If I were you, I'd give him his ring back, get a full-time job myself and save up to do some traveling on my own.
Now his destinations don't mean he is doing what he dad did (visiting countries for prostitutes) but I can't see why he would say: Hey! Let's see *whatever* destination together - I'll call around to see what the ticket prices are and then we can PLAN to go together." He leaves you out of the loop ON purpose.
I DO think traveling solo is fine, but THAT often? Seems odd to me. Also makes me think he isn't going to stop once you marry and isn't so serious about settling down with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2017): Read your question back to yourself. Now imagine this is your best friend or a sister saying this to you about a man. Surely you would see straight away that this guy doesn't care, he's got no intention of settling down soon and anyone would deserve better from a partner let alone someone they're engaged to. This guy isn't interested, he might be you fiance but this isn't serious to him and he's willing to ditch you so frequently just screams that this guy is not marriage material. By all means a partner can holiday alone, but when it becomes a frequent thing what is the point in being with them if they don't want to spend time with you. 'My husband has gone away once without me and that was before we got married and he rang me every night saying how crap it was without me and he just wished I was there. Some people swear by taking separate holidays once a year, others might have a few weekends away with friends but often these are couples either in early stages of a relationship so I isn't so serious or this is people who have been together for YEARS and so see each other all the time. Honestly if I were you I wouldn't waste time with someone so nonchalant about a relationship. I think you know this and it's why you asked - if you left him a lot of people would understand why.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2017): I couldn't even read your post to the end because it made me cringe so much.
Why in the world are you still with this man? You caught him trying to cheat already?! Yet you stayed?!
Obviously if that is the kind of person he is, he isn't travelling around the globe solo for no reason, he is going to all these countries having affairs.
I just don't know why you would allow yourself to be treated this way when you should RUN as fast as you can. There is no grey area here at all. RUNNNNN
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