A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a member of a sports club and have been for a while now. We meet a couple of times a week and it's great fun. About a year and a half ago I became friends with a guy in the group. We share a similar sense of humour and background. This has led to us becoming the closest friends in the club and it feels like there's a natural chemistry between us. Lots of the members of the club assumed we were in a relationship and we're surprised that we were not and it's been mentioned many times by the others that we get on so well.The thing is that I'm a single lady and he's a guy in a relationship. Nothing has ever happened between us and I don't want people to think that I'm his bit on the side (nobody has said this but I'm worried they might think it) as that's not my style.To add to the equation my friends girlfriend is also a member of the club but we've never met as she's never there when I'm there and he's never introduced me to her.Do you thing this situation is weird? Should I back off being friends for the sake of all involved? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (15 August 2017):
 It is a question of degree, and only you can tell what is and is not appropriate. If you feel it is becoming uncomfortably close then, of course, back off. As people in your group are assuming you are together then it does sound as if your friendship has gone too far, particularly as his girlfriend isn't present when you are together with him.
Probably best to cool it. He might just be a sociable type anyway and is not thinking any further than a few laughs at the club.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2017): I banter with my postman daily .. no one thinks there anything other than that going on .. some people will jokingly ...Oo are you two together .. as he chats and delivers my mail .. he's a single young guy and I'm not a singleton and have a family . I normal say .. yes we're just waiting on my milkman show up ..
I have a few qs .. do you meet one to one .. do you text each other .. or call .. do you know about his family and life etc do you discuss the plain ridiculous to the more serious aspects of life .. as that what true friends do .. you can have like a kind friendly person who you banter say for a lol while in a group setting doesn't make them your friend in depth .. it makes them friendly..
I'm wondering if sweetie your reading far to much info this, because you feel there some underlying tension and hey I'm not doubting you .. normally girls can read it .. doesn't mean he will act on it and he may see it as just friendly banter if you do press it he could act all shocked and say hang on there nothing there or he may cheat ..
I think if your feeling that something could happen or you wish it would .. then I would withdraw and talk more with the other members of the group rather than him..
I have been friendly .. I'm a friendly gal and guys read it way wrong . I'm not there friends I may see them at work and I'm always happy to talk with people and stuff but doesn't mean I want anything . But the point here isn't his feelings .. it's yours I'm bothered about and certainly you sound like a very nice girl who like myself wouldn't want to be in a position that would hurt anyone .. so I'd say just withdraw your time at the club with him, don't be rude .. he hasn't done anything wrong as such .. and find someone sweetie who's worth those giggles and witty rapport .. he's taken it's a shame but life does have more like him, maybe even better ( plus your only seeing one faucet of his nature )
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