A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I really fancy this guy at work, the other girls have been trying to set us up for months but we're both a bit shy so nothing's ever happened.We were out with everyone from work a couple of weeks ago and he told one of the girls he was interested in me but didn't know what to do and I had said I fancied him then he has to leave early and was off on holidays all last week.I was out on Saturday night there and just happened to bump in to him but he was with another girl, should I back off and forget about him or am I being a bit dramatic?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 September 2016):
 I agree you should back off. He may have passed a comment on a night out, but if you saw him with another girl then your best to stay well away. No point in you getting hurt and also it being very awkward at work.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 September 2016):
 You should back off because he already is out dating SOMEONE else. He might be shy but not too shy to go out with another girl. And #2, work romances are usually not a great idea.
The workplace is NOT your private dating pool. If it was... it might be VERY limited in the "selection". So GO out with friends, met new people, try new things.
Stick to using the workplace as a way to gain experience, make friends, colleagues and to network. Not looking for a potential mate.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 September 2016):
 Back off. As others have said, maybe having workplace romances is not the best idea, and is fraught with possible drama. But , if you want to do it anyway, at least start good, make sure that a strong mutual attraction and mutual compatibility is worth the chance of having to handle consequences.
Here, this guy is just not that into you. He is shy, but not shy enough to NOT ask the other girl out. So apparently you'd be an option, but not a first choice.
I am sure you want better for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2016): He was with another girl? If he had the nerve to ask her out, why can't he ask you?
If you saw him out with someone else, back-off.
I manage an office for a large company. I don't advocate or condone romances on the job. They often stir-up drama, create a lot of office gossip, and they are sometimes disruptive. They keep the company on edge worrying about a bad breakup, and the liability of sexual-harassment complaints.
There are plenty of eligible men out there who don't share the same workplace. If you breakup, you don't have to face them eight hours a day and throughout the week. The tension and awkwardness doesn't threaten the loss of a good employee due to discomfort of people not wanting to be around each other.
Worst case scenario, a big scene on the work premises. People don't seem to know how to keep their private lives where they belong; and get angry if they think the employer snoops too much into their backgrounds.
Let it go, he's seeing another girl anyway.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2016): First of all, it isn't such a good idea to start dating someone who you work with. There are a lot of messy things that could happen. However, even though it seems that you two are attracted to each other, I would say to drop it, and just go on to the next one. Don't you think that if he was REALLY interested in you, he would have gone up to you, and not just your friend? Also, the fact that you saw him that night with another female should tell you right there that it isn't really all that serious, meaning that he is just being a guy, and exploring his options.
best of luck XX
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