A
female
age
30-35,
*rincess166
writes:I've been seeing a guy for nearly a year now, and the beginning of the year we've started to become more serious ( seeing each other the whole weekend and week, he admitted he is in love with me and is crazy about me etc) he told me he isn't seeing anyone else either. The thing is he is in a sucessful band that tours and he is is leaving in a week. I want to ask him if he would ever sleep with anyone if he ever got the offer and if he would say no to that, as I would do the same back home. iam asking him to commit basically. Is this the right thing to do? How should I ask him? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EbonyBlossom  +, writes (25 March 2010):
 By that I think he just means by not being around often. He obviosly tours a lot and is scared that if he spends too much time away from you then you will leave him for someone else who is always around. Whether you are willing to wait for him or if you want someone who is around all the time is up to you. Most bands only last for a few years anyway.
A
female
reader, adamantine +, writes (25 March 2010):
 I was in the same boat as you not long ago. My boyfriend is in a band and is currently touring. He had a promiscuous past before me. We had problems early on in our relationship but he was honest and we worked through it together. We are committed to each other.
It is not wrong to ask him to commit. You are in a relationship with him, you love each other, so why not? Honestly, it's selfish if he says no. Is that really someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with? A man who puts his urges before anything else? If he says no, it means he's not ready to settle down and you may be wasting your time :(
If you want to know a way to ask him, just go for it. There is no real way unless you're straight forward. There needs to be open communication for any kind of relationship to work. Maybe if it's a sensitive topic for him, tread lightly, other than that, don't be afraid to ask.
Best of luck xx
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female
reader, princess166 +, writes (25 March 2010):
princess166 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe hasnt done anything to make me not trust him. but he always says he is "horrible at relationships and that he would end up hurting my feelings by being aloof. i just dont know how to ask bim!
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (25 March 2010):
Do you trust him? Asking to commit is not a crime, that's the whole point of a relationship. And I agree with domo kun, has he done anything to prevent you from trusting him?
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female
reader, princess166 +, writes (25 March 2010):
princess166 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe was in a six yr relationship a year before we met, and he still won't call us boyfriend and girlfriend- he says if we do become bf and gf things will change and won't be the same. He is basically superstitious that the relationship will be like the previous and doesn't want to ruin it.
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