A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend and I dated for about half a year. He's an international student and we come from different cultures which caused many disagreements and misunderstanding although we were in love. Last week we had another argument and I went home without us working it out. Then over text messages that evening we decided it would be best to break up. He admitted that a few weeks ago, his parents changed their minds and wanted him to return to his home country. He said he couldn't tell me because he was afraid I'll leave him. Although we're now broken up due to an unrelated argument. I was hurt because instead of treasuring our "last" day together, he hurt me in the end and left me with an unhappy last memory. Although we were understanding and sweet when we broke up via text messages, it's not the same. Although we broke up on good terms, I fear the future regret of not saying a "real" goodbye to one another. Should I ask him for a last goodbye? Or would that complicate things. Breaking up over text was probably the most gentle way. I would have probably cried in person. Should we say bye in person and risk negative feelings or just leave it be? He leaves next week! We were still in love when we broke up.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 I know that it is difficult going through something like this and I know how you feel you just want to see him one last time and have a proper goodbye and leave on good terms, but believe me sweetheart this will only make it so much harder than it is already for both of you. I do believe there is still a lot of love between the both of you but the only way to get by this now is to have no contact until the both of you heal.
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (5 July 2012):
Hi there. As it does seem that it is truly over, and he is going back to the country where he lives, well then you have to accept that it is the end.
That situation probably isn't going to change now.
All you can do, is to write him one last text message and just simply say that you do understand why it had to end, and that you enjoyed your time together.
And say all the things you enjoyed about being with him.
And be open and honest, when you do.
That way, you have then said all that you wanted to say, and so it ends on a happy note, instead of angry and upset.
And of course, wish him well for his future.
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