A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys, quite a problem in my eyes anyway. I am gunna ask out this girl on the last day of term. However I am scared about what friends are gunna say. I know if this was her asking about me feeling like this, then you guys would say leave him but I really don't know what to do about this. Should I ask her out and if so how do I go about it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (6 April 2011):
 "I am gunna ask out this girl on the last day of term."
I know this seems like a good idea given that, if she says no, you won't have to deal with hearing about it - but that's exactly what it is, an easy way out of taking a risk. Every guy your age does it, girls know about it. Waiting until the last day doesn't work.
Not to mention, that means waiting however many weeks to do it - spending all that time not knowing, not being sure, is going to tear you up inside.
"However I am scared about what friends are gunna say."
You need to let that fear go. Who cares what they say? Imagine them laughing. Imagine them mocking you, throwing things, pinching and teasing you. And learn to accept it. Learn to let it go, like water off a duck's back.
In all likelihood, they'll say one or two things, then never mention it again. If you imagine the worst, then accept it as a possibility, the more realistic thing will be less likely to happen.
Besides, picture the guys your age who are better with girls. Do you think any of them care what friends say? Or do they just do what they want to do, and Hell with everyone else? Be like that, they have a point.
"Should I ask her out and if so how do I go about it?"
Should you? Yes, absolutely. If she says yes, great! If not, you have a valuable learning experience. You need to learn to accept failure as a part of life, and of dating; you need to learn to hear "No" and not let it bother you. Learn to accept risk. First, because courage is sexy; second, because refusing to play guarantees you won't win; third, because every week you spend not knowing if she'll say "No" is a week you can't spend finding a different girl who will say "Yes."
Ask her the very next time you can speak to her alone. Talk to her for a minute or two, make her laugh, be as confident as you can, say you want to hang out sometime, exchange numbers, thank her, and go about your business. Again, be willing to accept failure.
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