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Should I ask her out again?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, *on23 writes:

hey, can someone give me advice?

there's this girl that i have met and dated 7 yrs., while we were in high school, but we lived over an hr. away from each other; we met at a basketball game. Well now im graduated from college and currently coaching at the high schoo in which she attended! since my last break up, we started contactin each other a little through emails and i call her sometimes. she is a beautician and she cuts my hair. well about a month ago i asked wen will she let me take her out.

she said we'll have to see about that. when i asked her if that means no, she said that it means we'll have to see about it and she kinda laughed! well last week i sent her an email and asked her if there were any particular reason she does not let me take her out and i said if u r not interested in me like that, then thats fine; we could still go out and party and i said i promise i will not try anything. She sent one back saying "well im not really good at dates, but we could go out and party one nite, im all about that".

so friday night we went out wit her brother and a couple of friends. we had a good time and we danced several times, but another guy that she knew kept dancing wit her also so i kinda backed off because i didnt want her to feel as if it was a game and we were competing for her! they didnt hook up and i kept my promise about not trying anything. i really want to ask her out again, so can anyone give me advice on how i should do it or when i should ask her? we get along and while we were out we talked alot and made eye contact several times even when were across the bar from each other.

and she gave me her house number, but she didnt give me her cell because she said not many peop. have her cell number. do u think that means that she definetly is not interested in me?? i would appreciate any advice on the questions i asked! thanks,

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (21 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey gina, i have an update but its really not good in my favor but i want to see wut u think. i asked on of our mutual friends to feel her out about wut is she feelin about me. so today our friend told me that she said that she dont know bc i used to be wit one of her friends, but they are not really close friends, they just talk wen they see each other and she is friends wit my Xs sister not really her in fact she thinks my X is rude! but she said that she never dates someone that was wit one of her friends, however, she said that she really enjoys hanging out wit me and playin basketball wit me! so how should i take this? do u think that she will ever give it a chance or prolly not? our friend told me that maybe just keep in touch wit her and going out and playing bball wit her and maybe strong feelings will develop! Wut is your advice to me?

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (18 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well i kinda think theres nothin to worry about, but i just think there is bc they been like best friends for a long time and he keeps tryin to be with her! and this morning she ans. back my text and we texted back and forth a little bit, but this afternoon she said she was goin ride her horse, so i texted her back askin if she would like for me to call her lata ton. and she never texted back. then lata on i called her cell and left a mess. but she never called or texted back so im a little confused and starting to get a little worried! i really dont know wut to think. i really like her and im the type of guy that usually gets the girl that i want to be wit! dont think im conceded bc im just really confident!lol. but i dont want to fall more for her if she is not really feeling anything for me! ya know wut im sayin?

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (18 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey gina or whoever else read my questions. around the same time i first asked her out, she has a guy friend that really wants to be wit her; i dont know if they ever hooked up, but i think they did. well since the first time we started talkin she has always told me that she is not talking to him, he is just a really good friend. she even went to vegas wit him to a rodeo and her and her friends told me that all they did was fight over there bc wen she would talk or dance wit other guys he would get mad! she still says that they are nothin and one of our neautral friends said that everytime our friend is at her house hanging wit her brother and wen that guy calls, she always gets mad bc she says he aggravates her and dont leave her alone. well ton. wen i texted her to see wut she was doin, she responded by saying that she was at Nick's house (which is that guy) watching a movie, so my quest. is do u think that they are more than she tells me or how should i take this? im a little confused about this bc last nite i was painting in the gym and we texted each other and i joked wit her about coming help me and then i said, im not gonna make u help me, but if u wanted to come visit u can and she said if i wouldve known earlier i wouldve but its a little late now, which it was! So any advice on wut i should do or how should i take all this??

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (16 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hey gina, its me again but this time im givin u an update. i called her at work bc i was supposed to go get a check from her bc she wanted to sponsor our bball tourn., but i was gonna be there a little after they closed so i called to tell her not to worry about it, ill just get it tom. so she said, "well im goin to the store and ill call u wen im leaving to see where u r at and maybe u could still stop" so wen she called back i was already back at prac. so i said not to worry about it tn., but i asked her if this was her cell # and she said yes, so i joked with her about if she wanted me to delete it and she said "no i called u from it didnt i; if i didnt want u to have it i wouldve blocked my call" so i think that was a real good sign, wut u think??

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (15 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Gina, thanks! now i have one mor thing to ask u. this may sound like i dont know how to talk to girls, but thats not at all true, but i screwed up already wit one of my xs bc i was to agressive wen we were about to get back together so im just worried i will do it again. this girl is a very good girl and she has her shield up bc of her last relationship! she even told me the first time i asked her out that "her last relationship ruined her"! heres wut gettin at, ton. her brother and a couple of his friends called me and they wanted to come to the gym and play basketball and she wanted to come to, so we all went and played a game for about an hr. well wen we were leavin and the guys went out of the gym, she stayed and walked wit me to put up the balls and she started jokin around about the game and during the game there was alot of flirtin and touchin goin on! well she stayed wit me until i closed up and locked everything and i wanted to kinda feel her out about me and if i wouldve tried something the other nite, wut she wouldve done, but i didnt know how or wut to say, so do u have any advice on how to ask her or how to find out wut she thinks of me without being to aggresive and pushin her away? she is very independent and rite now i think she kinda feels something but im not sure if its somethin or she really just wants to be friends! sry so long, this is the last thing!lol.

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A male reader, jon23 United States +, writes (14 December 2008):

jon23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Gina, thank u for responding! sometimes wen we talk, we bring up back then and we talk about things that happened and just think that it is crazy how i ended up coaching here! back then we only saw each other at games and wen i would go to lake charles she would come meet me, so it never was serious. and she was wit someone for 4-5 yrs. and last september wen i took this job; she didnt know i was coaching here and i didnt know that she still lived here, but then i heard that she was and that she just broke up wit her b/f. i may be crazy but i really believe in "fate" and i almost took another job, but for some reason i decided to take this one and its weird that her & her b/f was talkin about marriage and then a month after i started working here they broke up! Do u think i should mention how i believe its fate that brought me here, for us to meet up again or do u think that would be pushy and mite push her away???

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