A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well, my friend is going home in a week now, he's what I always thought of as happily married. This is his 2nd marriage. He's military - on a duty right now.I wrote him to see what's up and asked if now that he's going home he'll rest.He said he'll definitely take some short time off to recoup.Which I think is great and quite reasonable coming from a deployment. But, I wondered why he hasn't mentioned his wife for a while. I thought he was going to say how he'll spend some days with his family or so.I didn't want to asked him cuz it can be awkward. Should I asked about the family or just wait to see what's going with them. They're friends dear to my family and don't want to see my pal in pain again.My door is the 1st he knocks when trouble.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (1 October 2008):
 What is it that you hope to hear?
The fact is, if his marriage is fine, he won't talk about it, except for whatever current events are happening. In normal situations, men do not discuss their marriages with other people. He won't say "Yes, our marriage is great." - he'll just avoid talking about it. Guys are like that.
I'm more concerned that you might be pursuing him and justifying it; by your observations. If it's awkward, it's because you are asking about things that aren't any of your business, and with respect, you shouldn't be asking about this! It isn't normal for a guy to discuss things with someone who thinks that they should be the first door that they knock on, WHEN THEY SHOULD BE PHONING HOME.
You can be in denial about this, but you aren't fooling anyone but yourself. If you really think that you have his best interests at heart, and not your own, you should back off a bit... Everyone who writes in here generally is talking about themselves. It's hard to be away on duty. Try to do the right thing and allow him to follow his heart home.
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