A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he mailed it. 2 hours later he posted on Instagram so I know he was on his phone but he still didn’t reply. 24 hours passed and I texted him again. He didn’t reply to this message either. I know he is on his phone a lot and I knew he was deliberately ignoring me. Out of desperation, I texted my friend and asked what I should do because he was making it impossible to get in contact with. My friend had the idea to put him on a 3 way call. I didn’t talk at all but she was very polite when he picked up and said that she was my friend and that he had something of mine and that I wanted it back. He was very rude and blew her off, was basically like “yeah yeah whatever” and then hung up. Then I started getting angry. I called him and he didn’t pick up. What happened next I realize I fucked up. I rarely get very angry, but something about the situation triggered me to get very mad. I cursed him out over text message. I realize I went too far. I’m not gonna say exactly what I wrote but I called him a bum and told him to grow a pair. Then he responded saying that I was crazy and a maniac and never to talk to him again. I realize that cursing him out was very low I wasn’t thinking when I was doing it I was so angry. When I calmed down, I realized how hurtful my words were and I tried apologizing to him but he didn’t accept my apology. I still feel horrible about what I said and I feel like I should apologize to him again but part of me feels like I should just leave him alone. I truly feel so sorry for my hurtful words and for letting my anger get the best of me. I’m going to a concert next month that I know he will be at. I hope he doesn’t see me because I know he hates me but it’s a small venue so its likely he will see me. I don’t plan on talking to him but I was thinking that maybe I should apologize to him before the concert because I feel really bad and also so things aren’t so horrible between us if I do run into him. Or should I just leave him alone and hope we don’t run into each other? I really don’t know what to do, help.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 November 2018):
 I agree you need to LEAVE him alone!
If he wants to TOSS a gift you gave him out... then that is NONE of your business. WHAT so ever! You GAVE it to him, it's HIS now.
So if he doesn't return it (and I doubt he would) then SUCK it up, Buttercup!
Don't buy such expensive presents in the future.
Stop beating a dead horse, the guy owes you NOTHING.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2018): P.S.
If you're going to turn the necklace into a dog collar; he will throw it away, just to be nasty. Don't give him the fuel to upset you. You've given him a tool to pluck at your last nerve. Cut all ties, ghost him, so you can heal. He's using this to get to you, and you're making it too easy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2018): You don't want the necklace. You want a reason to hound and harass your ex. Why would he throw it away? I doubt he'd do something stupid like that. I don't think you believe he would either.
Let him be. It's his necklace, and if he wants to throw it away; that's his business.
Truth is, he won't; and you know he won't. It bothers you that he still has it, but he's not your boyfriend anymore.
Shake it off. Don't let bitterness and resentment paralyze your getting over him, or frustrate you. Move on. Don't be toxic!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (10 November 2018):
 Let it go and leave him alone, before police get involved.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 November 2018):
 You should totally leave him alone. He does sound like a nasty piece of work, but- you started first, in a way. Asking him your gift back was completely out of order, since when you give someone a present, the object becomes theirs for all intents and purposes, and wanting it back is petty and tacky. It's understandable that after the break up you were a bit carried away by your emotions, so you freaked out with all the following unpleasantness, but... enough is enough. Let it go. You insulted him, then you apologized sincerely ; fine, that's it. There's no need for further apologies. If he does not want to accept your apologies, that's on him and a further proof that he is kind of a dickhead.. Then again, hopefully you don't want to keep being in touch with him or be part of his life or what not,- so whether he "accepts " your apologies or not is irrelevant. From now on you can politely ignore each other, so that takes care also of your fear of running into him. Why should you be afraid of it ? Yes you acted a little psycho, - but you realized it soon and you apologized, now just don't bother him , give him space and it's all fine as it is.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (10 November 2018):
 Leave him alone.
You gave him the necklace as a gift, you technically have no right whatsoever to take that back no matter how annoying it is. Right now you are harassing this guy, if the roles were flipped all hell would break loose.
Just accept you’re not getting the necklace back and leave this guy alone before he gets the police involved. Is it worth getting done for harassment over the sake of some lost money?
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 November 2018):
 Sweetheart, you need to back off and leave this poor guy alone before he takes out a restraining order against you! He was right when he said you were acting crazy. And he did tell you to leave him alone. You need to do as he asks. Imagine how you would feel if the situation were reversed and it was him harassing you.
Learn a lesson from this and, in future, don't buy boyfriends expensive presents. Also, whatever you give them, understand it IS a gift and is theirs unconditionally. It is not your place to demand it back.
It sounds like both of you have more money than sense - you for giving such expensive gifts and him for throwing them away (if, indeed, he would have done that).
Move on with your life. If you do happen to see him at the concert, take your lead from him. If he acknowledges you, then say "hi" and leave it at that. I suspect he will do everything in his power to avoid you. Perhaps you need to do the same.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2018): Leave him alone .. your still sweetie holding onto this will work ..it won't it's over . He was rude.. you were rude why are you the only one apologising . He doesn't give a frig over it or you . He shut himself down to you as he is only concerned with himself. Take note . Chin high you can do soooo much better.
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