A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My youngest son is a junior in high school and has been playing football for his school since the 8th grade (his school is a private school that goes from 5th grade to 12th grade). Justin always loved playing football until recently.Justin just doesn't seem like he enjoys football and has stated that he wants to quit before football season starts again. I ask him why and he just says he doesn't enjoy it anymore and he wants to focus on other activities (after the football season ended, he has joined the theater club which he does love). During the last football season, his teammate and friend was seriously hurt and was taking to the hospital. Justin has also said that the other reason he wants to quit is he no longer believes that it is worth the risk (he always been a loyal friend and I think seeing his friend get hurt was hard for him). Should I try to encourage him to stick with football or allow him to quit? If he does quit, I do think he should do it before the season starts and not during the season. I am just afraid that if he does quit, that he will regret it when he is older that he quit something that he used to love. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (23 February 2024):
 Ok it's February And this post is from the United states. Junior in High School. Football Season is long over, but football commitment is year round now. Honestly I played my Senior year. I quit (failed to join) My Junior year. The attitude of many of the players my age was a big Factor in my decision not to play. It wasn't as If I was a major asset to the team. And it worked out for me as I was allowed to play JV my senior year. Probably impossible in most leagues now.But looking at it in the rear view mirror, very few students advance from High School to College football. So The Senior year is your last Chance to really play. If your Son isn't likely to be a starter in his senior year, Spending a year on the bench for questionable comradery is pretty lame. If the team has good prospects, that could be a factor. I'm jaded as American football was not my primary sport, I was just filling time. If the Coach had known that in my heart I was hoping every night to injure his pet player badly enough to get him out of a winter sport, he probably wouldn't have supported my return to the team. If our School had had CC or Soccer I would have been in much better training for Winter Season. I wouldn't send a player whose heart isn't into the team for the Glory season. While it is the last chance for many, he may be happier calling the just finished season his last. Going out on a High of his own choosing.BTW. At 58 I'm still involved in Theatre. I don't even watch American Football.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 February 2024):
 I agree with Ciar!
I would sit him down and tell him that you will SUPPORT whatever choice he makes.
And I would add " I do think he should do it before the season starts and not during the season."
As a kid/teenager I was ALL over the place with sports. Once I got good at something, I got bored with it (except horseback riding, that never bored me).
Also, seeing a friend getting hurt badly from a sport might be a wakeup call to your son. I don't blame him for thinking this might not be worth it.
People always presume that "quitting is bad". Sometimes it's not.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (22 February 2024):
 I think you should leave the decision entirely up to Justin without 'encouragement' in any direction.More bad than good can come from you manufacturing unnecessary rules. Justin has enough trust in you that he was able to confide in you. Making rules undermines that trust and it demonstrates you don't trust him. He will be less confident trying new things if he suspects he'll be trapped in them. Justin will see your 'concern' for what it is: a need for control and he will resist your efforts, which will lead to tension and possibly hostilities between you. How is Justin supposed to gain the confidence to make the bigger decisions when he is denied the chance to make the small ones?Disappointment is part of life and if you treat the small ones as a huge problem, how is he going to view the bigger setbacks?Your job as Justin's father is to prepare him for adulthood. Not 'protect' him into perpetual childhood. Playing football, and when to quit, is his choice to make. Tell Justin you trust him to make the right choice for himself, and assure him it will all work out in the end.
...............................
|
