A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My Aunt and cousins just sent me a friends request. I don't see much of them even though we live close by. They never really bothered with us when we were growing up and even recently we were all at a family funeral and they never even spoke. I work in the same line of work as my cousin and have a lot of fb friends who do the same type of work. I play sport and my team are now in a major final so there is a lot of local media attention, tv and fb, so wondering if they genuinely want to connect. Should i acceptWould really appreciate any insight into this. Thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): OP Here.
I remember when we were little calling to my Gran-parents with Mum & Dad, My Aunt was there & she got up to leave as we came in the door saying she was off to see my cousin(who lived a few doors away & she would see regularly)before she went to bed!
My cousin was about 7, wasn't sick or anything, & it was like 5pm on a Sunday evening!
Mum was annoyed, but bit her lip, Dad said it was pointless saying anything as they (his family)never see themselves as doing anything wrong!
Thanks for all your answers so far, 5 stars, getting other peoples opinions helps me so much with my decision.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 September 2015):
 I'm with Auntie Bim Bim
If they couldn't even BOTHER to talk to you at a funeral, then what is the point really?
Was there a message with the request or JUST a request?
If it was the first, I'd consider it, if it was the latter (just a friend's request) I'd skip it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): I understand exactly how you feel. I have experienced the same thing. Usually I end up adding unfriendly relatives out of sheer guilt. And then I regret it later as it's painful that they continue to take no interest in my life. And I don't like that they see so much of what I share there--I don't feel they're entitled to that. I've found that adding such family members to my friend list doesn't, in any way, improve our relationship. They're every bit as distant online as they are offline. In fact, it may even make the relationship worse as their lack of caring makes me feel even more resentment for them. And it's something I think about every time I log in, which is depressing.I'm confident that the same thing would happen if you accept friend requests from your distant family members. I highly recommend that if you accept, to put them on a restricted list so that they only see your public posts. You may also want to hide your friend list. That way, they can't contact people on your list if they're after promotion.Who knows what their motives are in sending you a friend request. It could be your success or it could just be that they feel guilty. Or maybe they just want to increase their friend numbers and feel that they should add every one they know.Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck! And good luck with your finals.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 September 2015):
 It depends on how you use your FB. If it's only really close friends and close family then by all means ignore the request. If you have hundreds or thousands of friends, what's the downside of a few more? If it's about networking in your chosen field of work and they are competitors then you could accept the request then limit their access to your posts.
I might drop a note to them. "Hey, I got your friend request. When I saw you at XYZ's funeral we didn't speak and it's been many years that we've communicated, even though we live close by. How have you been? Can we catch up a bit? Though as you know I'm a bit busy at the moment, so may not be able to respond in a timely manner."
You could accept their request with no comment and then just limit their access to your posts if you don't want to appear hostile.
Do you have sisters or brothers or other cousins you could discuss this with?
I connected recently with cousins I hadn't spoken with in years. Our parents had grown apart but that didn't mean we couldn't catch up.
Decide what is important to you and remember that fb should work FOR you, not be a burden.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 September 2015):
 I live in a small town, if people cant say hello to me when we meet in the supermarket aisle I don't accept their FB requests ........
Facebook is great for reconnecting with friends and family, but again, if they cant say hello to me when we meet or see each other, if I am always the one doing the approaching, then I don't accept their fb requests.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2015): The old family saying'they never really bothered with us' can go both way's, could your cousins say the same? I would guess
they have said the same. Why was it only up to them to bother?
FB ,do they want to connect or just interested in your local fame, who really cares about media attention it's often bullshit and fake just like FB.
Try and meet family on a genuine level face to face over a beer.
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