A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have started dating (I am gay) and I have met this guy and we spoke for a couple of months, we finally met the other day and I enjoyed (a little awkward at first) but we spent hours together and at the end of it, he kissed me and he said it was so happy to see me finally and text me later saying thanks for the great time and we will have to meet again soon, that's if you want a next time of course and I said I did and he said great.I contacted him by text saying I am free the majority of next week if you want to meet and I noticed he was online on Grindr (a gay dating/hookup app, if you don't know) all the time, I thought okay maybe he is just thinking about what to reply with but he was online for the majority of the time, on and off. He didn't reply until the early hours of the morning (about 7-9 hours later) saying yes I would love to meet you so I asked him what time are you free and where would you like to go? He is doing it again! This time he has read my message, and is on Grindr. I obviously don't have a problem with him dating other people, I just find it so rude he is ignoring my texts like this especially when he isn't even busy! Should I just assume he's not that interested and move on or what? I don't to get attached to him or end up completely falling for him but I would like to give it a try because we seem to have a lot in common and he is very lovely when we meet. I would really appreciate this from a gay man's perspective, as well.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2015): OP here. Thank you everyone! I am moving on from him and will look elsewhere! Thanks
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 September 2015):
 I agree with WiseOwlE
Whether you are gay,straight, bi or any other sexual definition.... A player is a player... and they pretty much all have similar MO - like never stop looking for greener (or easier) grass, they are great with words (knows JUST what to say to get you in bed), they are charming (because they KNOWS you catch more flies with honey) but they are also notoriously selfish - they simply believe that because they exist OTHER people in this world are there to be used.
You head and your gut is telling you that you are NOT a priority for this guy. He is NOT really looking for a BF, but you have held out hoping that he would want YOU and he might... for a night or two.
I read an article about Tindr (and honestly I don't think Grindr is much different) where guys would "line up" a couple a girl to met and if they didn't INSTANTLY wanted to have sex, they would move on to the next.. And that was LINING them up for dates at a bar/coffee-shop so the girl they JUST dumped would see him go chat up the next target... It's gross. It's all about instant sexual gratification, personality, emotions, feeling, caring is irrelevant - all that matters is getting laid.
So with that said, if you ARE looking for a BF, I don't think Grindr is the best place to search for one.
Block this fella and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): I think your gut feeling about this guy is pretty on target.
You've got yourself a player. He knows all the right things to say, and yet you've caught him time and time again checking out potential hookups on Grindr.
Don't be gullible. Actions speak louder than words. He's on Grindr a lot. He's more interested in sex than dating one guy. Don't set your feelings on someone you've snooped on; then try to redesign him into what you want him to be. He's not boyfriend-material. He's delayed in responding; because he's too busy checking out pieces of ass for dates. They are also responding to him. You're just at the end of the list, sweetie! You're probably cute, a nice guy, and great to hangout with. He's more into the Grindr type! I'm gay too. I know what that type is! Horny, and not capable of speaking in full sentences. They post pics of private parts and can be quite superficial about looks!
He may be okay for casual dating; but he's more attuned to hookups. I don't think you're his type. He may be a charmer, but he's also a player. If you met on Grindr; then you should know better. It's not a match-maker site.
Grindr? Seriously, boyfriend?!! You're young; but you can't be that naive.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2015): I have a bad feeling about this relationship. I believe that, for some reason or another, this man doesn't want to or can't commit to you in any capacity. He can't even commit to getting together with you in a few days! That's why he's not answering you.This means that he's either busy with some pressing concern that he hasn't told you about, is unsure of his feelings for you, or he's hiding something from you. My guess is that he's already in a relationship or has his sights set on someone else. Either way, you're secondary to him--not high on his priority list. And you don't want to be in a relationship like that. He just wants to string you along. Whatever you do, don't contact him again. Let him contact you. Let him come after you--if that's what he decides to do. And don't wait around for this guy. You need to meet some other people and have some fun. Get back on that site straight away and check out some other interesting possibilities. I wish you the best of luck!
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