A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this long time friend, when I call her she either doesn't answer the phone, or she answers the phone like she is annoyed, like I am bothering her. So I stopped calling her because it makes me feel bad. She asked me why I don't call her and I told her why and I said "you can call me if you want to talk". She is fine with that, because our friendship is always on her terms. I invited her to the movies and even said I'd pay, and she said she doesn't have the gas money to get out here, which I know isn't true and I only live 15 miles away. Any time I invite her to do something she never wants to. I even offered to babysit for her so she and her husband could go out this holiday weekend and she says no, she doesn't want to go out. She never wants to do anything with me. I don't know why. I haven't seen her in a while, and on Wednesday she said we would do something today b/c she didn't have anything to do today or yesterday and I haven't heard from her since Wed. She also said we'd do something this weekend b/c neither of us have plans and I know I won't hear from her. I don't understand why she says we will make plans, then I don't hear from her. She used to call me like 10 times a day, now I rarely hear from her. She'll call when she's outside smoking sometimes, because she's bored. She was my best friend in high school, and one day she just stopped talking to me. She always switches friends, even now that we're adults with kids of our own. I have been hurt by her so many times, and I want to just stop talking to her but I don't know anyone in my immediate area and I am a stay at home mom with young kids and I am pregnant, so I get really lonely and depressed and I actually enjoy talking to her when she does call, we'll talk for an hour sometimes. But I hate that I am always thinking about her and why she doesn't want to be friends anymore. Should I cut my losses, or just accept what little communication I still receive from her? I have tried making other friends, but it never works out.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, a-g55  +, writes (27 May 2011):
 Be selfish on this one. expect less. get what you can from her. dont give up. she is the sort of person that will come when she needs you. she sounds like she smokes weed. or has a lazy selfish streak to her. not nice and i can feel your heartache on this.
Get into computer chatting instead. plenty of lonely people on here
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